Fire and Ice: A Different World
by MizzMarie729
Summary: Jonsa- how much different things could have been, had Ned shared with his wife and family of Jon's true parentage. Jon is raised as Ned's son to all but to Catelyn and their children. Some small simple changes in time cause a ripple effect. Joffrey wants Sansa whose heart belongs to another... Jon is sent to the wall. Jon and Sans a pairing as well Danny and Robb eventually.
1. Chapter 1: A twist of fate

Summary: AU how much different things could have been, had Ned shared with his wife and family of Jon's true parentage. Jon is raised as Ned's son to all but to Catelyn and their children. When old enough to understand the importance of keeping Jon's heritage a secret, Ned and Catelyn would explain it to them. They would never reveal who the parents were, only that Jon was an adopted relative from a far off family. So what happens when a young Sansa falls for a handsome broody Jon Snow, their love to be tested by King Joffrey's desire for the young maiden… Jon is sent to the wall by the king only to take arms with Robb in the war to come, to save his country and get back his love. This takes place a couple years later then when the series' first starts out, so all the characters are a little older. This is obviously an AU reality…

Fire and Ice: a different world

Chapter One: Something new… something blue

Jon felt a searing pain in his shoulder, the dull wooden blade had hit his shoulder with great force. He tried to not take offense to Robb's laughs, as well as the others watching in the training yard. Jon looked up to see her face on the balcony of her room, her red hair flowing in the wind. For a moment he did not see his cousin, but a vision of beauty… an angel. Another sharp pain in his back, his distraction had cost him another blow from Robb's fake sword.

Sansa had smiled down at him before turning to walk away back into her room, where she was to be working on her broideries. She smiled as she heard Robb question Jon's distractions lately. She could not deny she found Jon incredibly handsome. Especially the way he would stop and stare at her blankly, as if in a daze, whenever she would walk out to watch him. She too had been criticized from old nan about being distracted. _If I can't make a proper lady of you, how will you ever find a suitor for your hand?_ Old nan would always nag at her.

Sansa smiled before laying down her broidery, she wanted to tease her brothers if she could. It wasn't only her brothers that she aimed to tease. Old nan tried to call for her, but ever since she had turned 17 years of age she had become unrulier. She had spent so much time trying to be proper and a lady, that she finally wanted to be mischievous. Or perhaps Arya was starting to rub off on her. Sansa walked out to the court yard her blue dress flying behind her as she hid at the nearest post and picked up a handful of pebbles. With great force she chucked several of them at the boys in the training yard.

"Fuck!" Robb yelled first a hand flying to his head.

"Arya?" Jon asked out grabbing his shoulder where one pegged him.

"Damn it! Stop already!" Theon hollered groping the back of his head.

"It's not me!" Arya yelled snickering off where she had been practicing with her bow and arrow. She too began to laugh as she saw Sansa hiding throwing the little clumps of dirt and rock. When the boys spotted Sansa they dropped their swords to chase her, "Run!"

Sansa tried to hold back laughter as she lifted her skirt to run, she was taller now, nearly as tall as the boys and she had a great distance lead. She ran as fast as her long legs would carry her. The boys split up to find her. She hid as quietly in the stables as she could when she heard Jon walk in, he looked around for Robb or Theon but couldn't find them. She tried to hold back a small laugh covering her mouth, but he had heard it.

"Gotcha!" he said poking his head into the stall she had been hiding. She tried to run past her but his hand caught her arm, the other tickling her side. This caused her to fall knocking him over. Together both Jon and Sansa fell laughing into the hay on the ground. She stopped laughing and smiling as she looked up at him, his hand on her waist. His smile faded to a look she hadn't seen… they watched each other for a moment, something happening they couldn't quite explain.

"Jon?" Sansa?" Robb asked jogging into the stable. Sansa quickly pushed Jon off, he jumped up, helping her up as well, "there you guys are!"

"You guys found me, good job," Sansa smiled at her brother and Jon. She patted the hay off her dress as she began to leave but then Robb started throwing handfuls of hay at her. She squeaked before picking up hay herself and throwing it at them.

* * *

Sansa brushed her hair delicately, careful to not snag or damage her long red hair. She was startled by the presence behind her, after jumping she smiled through the mirror at her mother. Catelyn took pride in Sansa the most, for she reminded her of herself when she was young. Catelyn took the brush from Sansa's hand and sat behind her, gently stroking the brush through her groomed hair.

"You are so lovely Sansa," her mother swooned at her first born daughter, "Robb had stolen my heart the moment he was born, handsome little potato, Ned thought I'd stopped loving him in favor of Robb, but it was you who came out perfect in every way. I love all your siblings of course, but you my dear, you have such potential."

"Mother," Sansa stroked a lock of her hair, watching her pale fingers slide down her hair, for a moment she saw Jon's face smiling at her through the hay floating between them, "what of Jon?"

"What do you mean?" Catelyn was slightly stunned by this question.

"Do you love him?" Sansa did not look up. The room was dim as the sun was nearly set, and dinner would soon be served.

"In my own way I try," she spoke softly, "for a while I was convinced your father had taken bed of another woman. I wondered if he made it all up so that he could hide his sins, but the older Jon got the more I could see Lyanna in him. The dark hair and dark eyes. I did not see any Ned in him, nor much Stark for that matter. But it has been hard to pretend to loathe the bastard of Ned Stark, and secretly care for my nephew through blood. Sometimes I forget it's not his fault we are burdened with such a lie. I often wonder who the father is, as Ned will not speak of it. I sometimes wonder if perhaps he is Robert's son, and Lyanna simply didn't want him raised by that brute."

"So you don't love him?" Sansa stopped stroking her hair and looked up into the mirror in front of her, watching as her mother pinned her hair up beautifully in a northern style.

"Not in the way I love my children," Catelyn said softly, "if I were to love this boy, people would suspect that he wasn't Ned's Bastard. It's a part we must all play Sansa, I do not wish harm on him… I just simply can't replace his mother."

"I understand," Sansa said watching herself in the mirror for a moment.

"Finish getting dressed, our feast is to begin any moment," Catelyn kissed her daughter's hair and left her room. Sansa waited for a small while wondering what her beauty would cost her, she was old enough to understand she was already pushing her youth, she was long due to be sold to the highest bidder as a bride. She walked to her bed to look at the gowns sprawled out waiting for her when she noticed something at the corner of her eye.

She saw not far down Jon watching her window as he sharpened his sword. He had watched her a lot for the last couple months, and she couldn't deny she watched him for much longer than that. When he realized she was standing there looking down at him, catching him in the act of watching for her. He quickly looked down and turned around to finish his task, hoping that she would not notice him peering at her.

Sansa smiled as she turned to choose a dress, she decided to go with a green dress that had beautiful gold embroidery. A gift from one of the lords in admiration of her beauty. Many gifts had been sent to her in the hopes that she would choose one of the northern Lord's son's to wed. She quickly dressed before heading down to the dining chambers where visiting Lord's would be waiting to feast. When Sansa walked in everyone gasped and were in awe of her, standing up and bowing as she walked by. She tried to fake a smile, but it grew harder knowing they all wanted to make her their prize.

"Jon," Sansa said softly as she passed him, catching him off guard; her eyes lifted from the floor to meet his for a moment. Her ice blue eyes searching his dark warm ice. Her eyes cold as winter's chill beautiful as fresh snow over a frozen lake, his eyes dark and warm like the embers of a fire.

For a moment they collided in a beautiful chaos that neither of them could understand. She could not stop, not if she wanted to keep her thoughts to herself. Sansa took her seat at the head of the table in-between Robb and Bran. They were seated oldest too youngest. Sansa spent the night thanking the men who complimented her and lavished her in gifts. Catelyn looked at Ned, both knowing it would soon be time that Sansa took a husband. They wanted to prolong as much as possible from wedding her too young.

"May I please be excused," Sansa asked Ned who looked over at his eldest daughter. He nodded his reply, allowing her to quickly leave the chamber. She left the dimly let chamber to refresh herself outside in the cold. Winter was nearing every day, but Winterfell still remained beautiful and peaceful.

"You look beautiful, tonight, as I'm sure you know," Jon said softly, he had already been out there for a while. She was surprised as she had not noticed him leave, she then wondered if that was the perk to being someone's bastard… invisibility. She wished to be invisible. Not the pretty eye piece for lords to fight over.

"Jon," Sansa said softly, her hand to her chest, "you startled me…"

"I did not mean for that to happen, my apologies," he said standing up from the large boulder he had been sitting on. He had been watching the stars for a while.

"Thank you," she said watching him carefully.

"For what?" he asked walking closer to her.

"For your compliment," she smiled weakly. For some reason his presence made her feel nervous.

"I was merely stating the truth milady," he said gently his dark curls falling in front of his face as he looked down.

"Would you like to walk with me?" Sansa asked, uncertainty in her voice.

"Aye, that'd be nice," he smiled a half smile before following behind her. They walked for a while in silence out into the gardens of Winterfell, "here…"

"What is it?" Sansa asked, turning around to face Jon. He handed her a blue and white rose. She gently reached out to touch its soft pedals first.

"I know it's nothing, compared to the gifts you receive…"

"No… it's lovely, truly," she smiled a small smile, her eyes peering into his as she reached out to collect it. Before he could warn her she had tried to grasp it, cutting her finger on a thorn.

"Sansa, are you alright?" he said as he watched the flower fall to the floor, red droplets straining the fresh white snow fall beside it. He quickly took her hand in his to observe it.

"It's alright, it's just a cut," she said wincing. She found herself stunned when his lips gently rested on her finger tips.

"Thank you, Jon," she said softly, her eyes never leaving his face.

"Milady," his eyes lifted from her hand to her eyes.

"Jon," Sansa said softly, moving towards him. He bent down picking the rose back up, plucking off the thorns that could cause her delicate skin harm. She took it from his hand silently, as he stood so close before her. Their eyes locked on each other, never wavering, as if they had finally found what had been missing. His hand gently stroked her face, and to his surprise she did not pull away. Her hand gently reached up and met his face in return, small snowflakes landing on them, landing in his dark hair and clinging to her eye lashes.

"Sansa," Jon said before leaning down to leave a kiss upon her lips. When he pulled back he found her eyes searching his once more. Reality finally hit him on what he had done and he backed away from her, "I'm sorry Sansa, I shouldn't have done that. That was inappropriate."

"Jon?" she asked both hurt and confused. But he quickly turned to leave, unable to stay there any longer. Sansa stood there for a while staring at the rose he had given her, confused on what just had happened. More so about the feelings that had been stirring inside her whenever she saw him, and the fire in her stomach she felt when his lips met hers.

Sansa was in her room, looking at the blue and white flower now growing in the small vase she had placed it. She laid in her bed with her furs pulled high as she touched her lips, remembering the soft warmth of Jon's lips on hers. Her pretend bastard brother… he had grown from such a gangly little boy to a regal young man. She was not the first or only girl to notice this, many in Winterfell had fallen smitten with both Robb and Jon.

"Sansa?" the deep voice of her father Lord Eddard Stark broke her attention.

"Father?"

"Aye," he said walking in and sitting beside her bed post, "I wanted to inform you a letter was received tonight. The king and queen will be joining us this time."

"Oh," Sansa said, remembering the tales of Prince Joffrey she had heard of. The last time they came to visit a couple years prior, Ned had Informed Robert he wasn't ready to be the Hand in a letter before they even arrived. A Raven had come to Ned in his dreams to warn him of what treachery would await if he were to accept the King's invitation at that time. So in anger the King never visited, "what does that have to do with me?"

"The King has heard of whispers of the beauty of Winterfell, Joffrey is to take a wife and he thinks that Joffrey may want to choose you," Ned's voice was soft, obviously not wanting to have this conversation, "I've also heard him to be a cruel boy, you must be careful when he is here."

"If I marry him, I become a queen?" Sansa asked, her eyes lowered to the ground. A few years ago when she was more child like this would have seen amazing to her, but now she was a young woman and knew what marriage would entail. She feared her heart belonged to another now… so how could she marry anyone.

"Beautiful rose," Ned said spotting the blue rose by her window.

"It was a gift," she said softly, "from a foolish boy."

"A foolish boy you say? Well a gift like that is sincerer then any gift one could buy," Ned said kissing his daughters red hair, "any boy would be foolish around you."

"I wish it weren't so," she pouted, wishing she could be more boy like and free spirited like Arya who was already as good a swordsman as her brothers.

"Beauty can be both a curse and a blessing. Goodnight my little Sansa," he said delicately, "this week we prepare for the visit of the king."

Authors note:

Let me know what you think so far of this beginning! This was a quick rough draft I wrote last night. I am looking for a beta if anyone would like to proof read! =D


	2. Chapter 2: Uncontrollable

Authors note: Thank you to those who've read, special thanks to the awesome person who reviewed. It makes me feel like it's worth further exploration.

* * *

Chapter 2: Uncontrollable

* * *

Sansa was sitting on a bench in the garden reading a book. She felt herself completely distracted ever after her and Jon's kiss. It had been nearly a week and he refused to talk to her. Every time they came face to face he ran for his life like she was the plague. She buried her face deeper in the book trying to ignore the thoughts popping into her head. Images danced teasingly through her mind. His lips. His eyes. His warmth. His touch. She shuddered and slammed the book down.

"Careful there, what did that book ever do to ya?" Robb chuckled as he passed his sister, "your too pretty to frown…"

"Leave me alone," Sansa sulked.

"Don't you want to come watch me beat Theon and Jon up?" Robb smiled a handsomely wide grin. He was so friendly, her big brother. She couldn't help but admire his kindness. His kindness was loud, and obvious. Jon's kindness was soft, mellow, and subtle. Like the scent of fresh flowers on the wind.

"I don't know Robb, maybe," Sansa said unsure. He just smiled at her and patted her hair like she was a child, she hated when he did that. Sansa watched Robb take off in a sprint to the training yard. Sansa sighed, looking up to spot Jon at the entrance. He had been watching her, and she hadn't realized. Before she could get up to talk to him he took off for the training yard. She sighed again sinking into her seat deep in thought. Why was he treating her this way, he had never treated her so indifferent? They were never the closest of the bunch, but they were friends growing up.

Sansa stood up to make her way to the training yard. She hoped seeing Jon take a beating would cheer her mood. This was strange for her, and sudden. She had never felt this way about him before. So why now? Why did he haunt her dreams? Why did she think of him all the time? Why did she long for his embrace and the taste of his lips?

* * *

Sansa had walked into the yard distracting Jon once more. He stopped to watch her as she gracefully made her way to the viewing area with her father siblings. The youngest boys loved watching their brothers as they prepared themselves to become swordsmen. She took a seat next to Rickon smiling at him as she kissed his hair, he was the youngest, but he grew like a weed. Bran stood and cheered for Jon as he got the better of Robb, but again he looked up to see her looking off into the distance. He watched her for a moment as she fiddled with her dress.

Why of all the pretty girls in Winterfell, was he the one that plagued his mind? Why was she the one who lingered in his dreams. Her lips. Her eyes. Her fire red hair. Her smell. All of it intoxicating to him. The more of a man he became the more urges he had… and he desired her above all else. He watched as her eyes finally met his. He quickly glanced away to see Theon nearly getting the best of him. Quickly he disarmed Theon and Robb came back out for more. Boys and their swords. Jon looked to see the applause of his cousins, all but Sansa who sat there, looking at him angrily. He turned to look and found the hilt of Robb's pretend sword get him in the shoulder knocking him down.

"Jon!" Sansa gasped loudly, standing to her feet, her hands now gripping the bannister. Everyone looked to her, surprise in her reaction. Jon rubbed his shoulder, still on the ground as he looked up to see her once more. He was surprised to find himself pleased to see her worried about him. He knew he couldn't let Sansa leave thinking him weak, so he put all his effort into disarming Robb. Arya cheered excitedly for her favorite champion.

Sansa had seen enough of the boys playing around and decided she would go and practice a trade of her own. She took joy in archery when no one was around, it wasn't a lady's sport, but it wasn't frowned upon the same way sword play was. Many of the older young ladies would hold "Ladies Archery tournaments" and she was determined this time to win. Sansa finished saddling up her horse, the most beautiful horse in all of Winterfell.

Her father had bought it for her as a gift after her 16th name day celebration. He had searched the finest looking horse to fit Winterfell's most prized jewel. Sansa loved her beautiful mare, she was a beautiful dapple gray tall with a thick neck. The mare's long white mane was thick and long, her tail trailing far behind. The horse was rather large for Sansa's small frame but she did not mind as it made for a steady seat when she would shoot her arrows.

Sansa groomed and brushed her mare, talking to her gently. Sephira was truly a prized horse, and one day she would breed her to the finest stallion. She wasn't sure how she felt about it, but her father said that it would be a wise investment with such a wonderful specimen. Her mare was ruled to be perhaps the most glorious horse in all the seven kingdoms, none had yet surpassed the grace and regal beauty of Sephira. Sansa stroked her mare's neck, understanding the burden of being a fine specimen, one who would be told when and who to breed to.

It wasn't long before Sansa was mounted and on her way to the gates of their castle. She would need to head past the nearby surrounding villages until she reached the woods. She had a special place out there she practiced. Sansa found herself with her bow in her hand shooting at the targets as she rode past them. She had to be beautiful and poised in order to get high marks in the games, she could not think to long nor slouch or look in any way out of formation. For several years she had been practicing this art, when she was younger she didn't care much for it, but as she got older and her friends began to take part in the games… she found a passion she did not expect to find.

"Your good," Sansa jumped, losing her balance and falling from her horse. His laugh made her blood boil as she stood up and dusted off her dress.

"You've spoiled it!" Sansa yelled angrily at Jon who continued to lean against a tree and smile. Her eyes met his, and like a match being stroke a fire lit in her icy blue eyes.

"Your good, truly," Jon said crossing his arms still leaning against a tree.

"What do you want? Jon Snow," Sansa hissed angrily. He ignored her worded jabs at him and walked towards him.

"Your father and mother sent me to fetch you, your due for another fitting. Your to be dressed splendid for the prince's arrival," he mocked.

"You take pleasure in my misfortune do you?" Sansa said angrily.

"Greatly," he joked, but she did not find it funny. She went to walk past him to collect her horse when he grabbed her arm to stop her, "no Sansa, I do not. It's you who takes pleasure in torturing me."

"What?" Sansa asked in confusion as she peered up at him, his hand still wrapped delicately around her arm, "how so?"

"You torture me fiercely… you cause a searing desire within me that I cannot control. To be near you but not to touch you. To know I could never have you," his free hand delicately skimmed her face as he eyed her.

"Jon?" she was full of both confusion and excitement. The way she said his name sent him into a madness as he pushed her up against a tree, his lips forcefully meeting hers. She did not protest or turn away but met each motion of his kisses as fiercely and passionately as him. His hands grasping at her waist and her hair trying to pull her closer as he pushed himself into her. Sansa gasped as his lips moved from her lips down to her chin towards her neck. The warmth of his breath set fire to her skin, sending the chills throughout her making the little hairs on her neck stand on end. As quickly as she fell into the heated of the moment she quickly pushed him off, "No! Enough! You're so confusing Jon Snow! You kiss me in the garden, you watch me in my room, you look at me but say nothing to me for days. I hate you."

"You don't hate me," he whispered softly trying to catch his breath.

"I want to go," Sansa said grabbing her horse and trying to mount. She was shaking so much she could not get up. Jon walked to her.

"Can I get a ride? I walked all the way out here to get you," Jon's eyes had gone dark again, but his cheeks remained as pink and flushed as hers. She turned to look away as she waited for him to help her up and mount behind her. They rode smoothly back towards the gates of the castle when Jon finally spoke up again, "put your arms out and close your eyes…"

"S'cuse me?" Sansa asked hastily. Jon just smiled and whispered into her ear.

"Trust me," he said gently, the warmth of his breath exciting her once more. She did as he said, his grip around her waist tightening so she was firmly balanced against him, "close your eyes and imagine you're flying."

"Jon," Sansa laughed, but she couldn't deny she felt free for a moment as her horse cantered through the snowy fields and past the farmers' houses.

The wind caressed her face as she felt his grip around her waist, it sent a funny sensation into the pit of her stomach. She kept her arms out and her eyes closed as she felt the wind tickle up her arms blowing her hair behind her probably tickling Jon's face. She had never felt more alive. Jon couldn't help but feel himself stir behind her, filled with excitement, the kind he hoped she didn't notice under the layers of her clothing. Sadly, Jon had to slow Sephira to a gentle trot. Jon led the horse to the stable, where he brought her to a full stop and dismounted.

"You can open your eyes now," Jon said after pulling her down to see her eyes were still closed.

"I don't want to, I don't want to come back to reality," Sansa said softly her hands rested on his strong arms as he steadied her.

"Sansa," he said softly before placing his lips on her. It was a gentle, delicate kiss, unlike the passion fueled one they had experienced not that long back. When she opened her eyes he was gone. Her hand lifted to her parted lips as she gently rested her fingers there. He was a mystery to her. She looked around to the snow covered grounds where they had just landed.

"I don't understand him," Sansa whispered to Sephira as she gently pets her horses neck She then proceeded to return the horse to her paddock before returning to the castle of Winterfell.

Sansa finds herself being fitted once more for more gowns she would need to impress the prince and has family. But all she could think about was the dark haired brooding boy who haunted her dreams. Why couldn't she control herself, why couldn't she keep him from her thoughts. The lady who had been fitting her brought her a small gift. She told her it was left in her room for her. Sansa took the small box in her hand and opened it.

There was a small beautiful white gold chain and dangling from it was a white dire wolf made of white gold and diamonds. It was breath taking to Sansa, and she knew from whom it came. She then noticed a small piece of paper inside of the box. All it said was, 'Tonight after the first course, in the Godswood…' Sansa smiled softly as she held the note to her chest which seemed to be racing so quickly she worried it would fly out of her chest.

Sansa quickly dressed in a beautiful brown and gold dress in the typical norther fashion. When finally, it was time for their supper to begin Sansa quickly rushed through her first course as she watched Jon leave unnoticed. Sansa asked to be excused, and her father agreed. Catelyn watched her daughter, she noticed lately that she had been acting different as well as Jon. She heard whispers about them, and it made her uneasy.

Sansa ran to the god's wood to feel someone grasp her pulling her to them. Jon looked down at Sansa who returned his silent gaze. Both of them couldn't fight the feeling that had started stirring. She reached up to touch his face, she couldn't help but wonder how someone so beautiful could always be so dark and broody. He gave a half smile down at her, he didn't know he could feel that happy. Just being next to her made him feel like his world was crumbling around him.

"Thank you," she finally spoke up, still looking at him.

"For what?" he teased. She didn't say a word just placed her hand over the beautiful necklace she wore that glistened under the moonlight.

"It must have cost you a fortune, Jon, where'd you get the money?" she asked quickly.

"Aye, it did, but it was worth it," he said smiling at her.

"Jon," she said softly, "what do you want from me?"

"I… I don't know," Jon answered not sure how to answer it. He didn't know himself what he wanted, "Whatever it is, I can't have it."

"You will never know if you never try, Jon," she grabbed his face with her hand as he started to look away.

"I think about you, all the time," his eyes went cold again, as if he was frustrated with her, "I can't stop it."

"Nor I you, Jon," Sansa said desperately searching his eyes as she felt him slipping away, "Let us just walk, just walk and talk."

"You don't understand, Sansa," he growled pulling from her, "I can't be around you. It hurts. I don't know why or how, but it hurts to be close to you. It hurts worst to be away from you."

"Please, Jon," she begged grabbing his hand, "just be my friend tonight. Just walk with me."

"Aye, I spose," Jon said weakly as she tugged on his hand. Together they walked quietly at first, but before long they began to have a conversation that ranged from Sansa's growing tired of the gals she called friends, to Jon telling her of their Uncle Benjen's offer to go to the wall.

Sansa didn't like hearing that, she couldn't imagine Winterfell without Jon. They sat by the pond in the Godswood watching the star's dance across the water and the moon glisten off of the snow. She had never felt more at peace, and he had never felt more whole. He joked with her about what a brat she was at 13 and 14 years old, and she joked about how brooding he was. It grew late and he could see Sansa was sleepy, so he escorted her back to the castle.

* * *

After returning to his chambers he was surprised to find Sansa at his door. He opened it to see her standing in the cold dark hall with just her candle for light. He quickly let her in and noticed she was wearing a silk night dress that showed off more of her womanly body then he had ever seen before. He swallowed hard as he stared at her, feeling himself stir at the sight of her. She looked like a glowing goddess to him.

"You shouldn't be here, Sansa," he tried to say. But she didn't listen, she walked to him and pressed her lips to his. Sansa's arms wrapped around Jon's neck as he pulled her in close. Her hand ran down his smooth bare chest searching him, feeling new things boil inside her she had never felt before. She moaned softly as his lips ran down her neck and his hands grasped in her hair. Jon's hands then hooked around Sansa's thighs lifting her up, until her legs were wrapped around him. She could feel his bulging manhood roused at her pressed against him, and strangely it seemed to excite her more.

"Jon," she moaned softly as he laid her down his body between her legs. It was like a primal beast had taken over and instinct was in control. His hands ran up her body lifting her dress up over her head. She shook with desire as he kissed and licked his way up to her swollen breast licking and gently sucking the little pink buds of her nipples. She moaned and fisted her hands in his dark hair lifting her body up in desire for him. Both jumped when they heard a knock at Jon's door. Sansa quickly jumped up and scurried under his covers to hide as he jumped out of bed to answer the door.

"Jon?" Robb asked in confusion, curious as to why Jon was half naked, sweaty, and breathing heavily, "did I interrupt your… personal time?"

"Shut up," Jon snapped as Robb let out a round of laughter, "shhhh! You'll wake the castle, what do you want?"

"Theon and I are sneaking out to go to one of the late night taverns to flirt with the girls, want to come?" Robb smiled a big toothy grin that made Jon smile back. Jon's hand went to the back of his head where the nape of his neck was as he glanced back briefly. Normally he would go on these wild boy fooleries but tonight he would pass, "I'm pretty wiped out. Next time."

"Your loss," Robb chuckled before heading back down the hall. Jon closed the door and leaned against it, letting out a large exhale. He then looked over to Sansa who was now peeking out from the covers. He placed one hand on his mouth deep in thought. He walked to the bed, picking up Sansa's dress handing it to her, "we can't Sansa. That was too close."

"Too close? You don't want me anymore?" Sansa asked confused, and slightly hurt.

"You don't understand," Jon said sitting on the bed looking away as she put her dress back over her head in frustration.

"Then tell me," Sansa snapped, "I'm growing weary of this back and forth from you."

"It has to stop here, Sansa, you're a Lady, and I'm a Bastard," he said softly.

"You are not! Is this what your worried about?" Sansa asked angrily.

"It's not like your father or definitely not your mother, would ever approve of us marrying," Jon resting his head in his hands, his elbows propped on his knees, "I know what they do to young women who take to bed before marriage. They end up in the whore house or as a bride to low scum. If we did what I wanted to… you'd not be of any value to your family."

"Value? I'm not cattle, Jon Snow!" She threw a pillow hard hitting him, "my virtue is up to me when I want to lose it or keep it."

"You're betrothed to the prince, everyone has been talking about it," Jon said grabbing the pillow she threw at him and resting it in his lap.

"You…. You… ohhh, you Jon Snow, you make me so mad!" Sansa didn't know what to say or how to say it, "if I wish to lose my maidenhood I will, and if it's not you then I will find someone else!"

"Sansa wait," he said grabbing her wrist before she could leave the bed, "I'm sorry."

"Leave me alone, Jon, I can't take any more heartache from you," she whimpered trying to pull her wrist away, but he would not release her.

"I don't know why I can't let you go," Jon said softly, "Why I can't just do the right thing."

"If you don't want me then just be done with it, find another and leave me be," she tried to hold back her tears but now they poured down with anger.

"I'm sorry," he said pulling her to him, burring his face in her stomach, "just stay for tonight…"

"What?" she asked confused.

"Just sleep here tonight, I won't touch you, just don't leave," his voice was soft, almost like a whisper, defeat dripped in every word. She was like a poison slowly devouring and taking over his body and mind. Sansa did not say anything else, she followed his lead and laid down in his bed. His arms wrapped tight around her as he pulled her close, smelling her hair and her heavenly sent. He wanted her badly, but he knew he couldn't have her. But for that night, for that moment, he knew he could pretend. She was his and he was hers.

* * *

Preview of Next chapter…

Joffrey watched Sansa, a look on his face that said he was playing with her in his mind. She could see the wickedness on his face, the way he sized her up leaning to one side in his chair with a smug smile… she was his prey. Jon couldn't help but feel his blood boil as he watched the golden haired Prince eye Sansa like a toy.

Sansa tried to ignore the prince's stare, but she could deny that three or four years prior her fourteen year old self would have been instantly in love with the golden haired boy. She would have been blind to his looks and title, but now that she was older she could see him for who he was. Her eyes glanced over to Jon's who stared darkly at Joffrey before getting up to go outside.


	3. Chapter 3: Ice Queen

Authors note: I have added some scenes from the tv shows first episode, to give it a feel that history has finally caught up with itself even though its several years later. I tried to keep some thing true to the scene and then switched up a little show how the time difference slightly changed history.

* * *

Chapter 3: Ice Queen

* * *

Sansa heard the sound of the roosters in the rooster house calling their morning greetings to the rising sun, it made her stir a little waking Jon. He opened his dark eyes to look at her glow under the rising suns light. He reached over to touch her face, how could she be so beautiful to him. How could anyone make him feel the way he was feeling for her. They had never been that close growing up, but around the time of her 15th name day she started changing, taking more interest in him. She started becoming a woman, and started to become more kind. She smiled at him as she reached up to place her hand on his.

"I should go," Sansa didn't mean what she said, she knew if she waited long the small castle like fort would be buzzing with life.

"I wish you didn't," Jon kissed her forehead before she sat up. She couldn't control her gaze as she saw his shirtless body glistening under the light of the sun. Every inch of his abs and torso, it stirred something magical with in her.

"Who would have thought," Sansa said reaching down to kiss Jon on his lips, "that it would be you, Jon Snow, that I would fall for…"

"So you've fallen then?" Jon smiled a charming smile as his hand hooked around her neck. He knew that what he had said the night before about them was true, but at this moment he forgot the danger their love could bring.

"Maybe," Sansa tried to joke as her lips left several kisses along his face.

"Aye, I think I have as well," Jon played with a strand of her red hair, "whatever will I do…"

"I don't know," Sansa's face grew serious, "I think I've felt this way for a while now… I just didn't know what it was."

"Do you know what it is now?" he asked his eyes glowing with the morning sun.

"I'm not sure yet, could possibly be loathing..." she teased before kissing him once more and climbing out of his bed, "I have to go…"

"I know," Jon said still laying in his bed. Sansa looked at him once more as she held his door open, and then she disappeared leaving him to his lonesome thoughts.

* * *

Sansa had spent the day with her younger brothers while her mother and father were dealing with business. Sansa didn't mind helping out with them, she had hoped it would distract her from the thoughts of Jon. It hadn't worked, not one bit. She kept thinking about him, his face, his eyes, his lips, the warmth of his skin, the strength of his touch.

"Sansa," Rickon asked running up to his older sister. She smiled at him sweetly.

"What is it little one?" she teased.

"Can we go for a ride? Please? I want to go to the stream in the woods," Rickon begged. Sansa sighed looking over to Bran who was working on his archery. She figured it would be nice to take Bran to her special hidden target place.

"Bran!" Sansa hollered. Bran came running over smiling a handsome little smile.

"Yes Sansa," he said stopping before her with deep breaths.

"We are going to the woods, you need to saddle your horses," she smiled at him, "bring your bow and arrow. I am going to show you my special spot."

"Fantastic!" Bran said excitedly.

"Arya!" Sansa called to her sister as she walked around looking for her.

"What do you want?" Arya asked jumping off a ledge startling Sansa.

"You know mother wouldn't approve of your boy like behavior," Sansa scolded.

"Yeah, well she isn't here, is she?" Arya mouthed off.

"Good God's Arya," Sansa scowled at her, "I am taking the boys to the woods to go shoot some arrows. Do you want to come?"

"I spose," Arya shrugged, "I'll get my horse."

"You do that," Sansa said trying to sound like she authority. Her eyes glanced over to see the older boys doing their usual boy like activities. Swinging wooden swords and talking about girls. Jon looked up and caught her looking at him, she quickly turned to walk away.

"Sansa," Jon had run from the training yard leaving a stunned Robb and Theon who watched as Jon jogged to Sansa, when he reached her he slowed down, "wait…"

"Jon, you drawing attention," Sansa panicked.

"Who's going to say anything? Robb? Theon?" Jon teased, "where are you going?"

"I'm taking the kids to the woods," Sansa smiled at him as she glanced back at her older brother and Theon who stood there laughing in the training yard as they joked about what they didn't know was actually happening.

"Not a chance," Sansa heard Robb tell Theon with a laugh.

"I suppose, she is too high maintenance for a lad like Jon," Theon chuckled making Sansa's nose crinkle in anger, "besides she isn't even a princess yet and she's always acted like one!"

"Don't listen to Theon, he's an idiot," Jon said looking at her, "can I join?"

"I suppose it would be good to have some protection on our journey out of the castle walls," Sansa smiled looking over to Jon, "Do I act like a princess?"

"Sometimes," Jon teased, he laughed at her shocked face, "but that's only because you're beautiful."

"You think I'm beautiful?" Sansa smiled at him teasingly.

"You know, compared to some of these northern gals, but now I've heard some things about the women in the south…"

"Jon Snow!" She pretended to be hurt as she hit him in the arm.

"I don't think anyone could be more beautiful," his face grew serious as he watched her cheeks flush a pretty shade of pink.

"Let's get saddled up," Sansa tried to pretend like she didn't hear what he had said. They were already starting to accumulate stares. Together they gathered their horses and saddles, Jon was surprised to see that Sansa didn't have someone saddle her horse for her. Robb always had someone saddle for himself, the Lord's legitimate children were allowed such luxuries. When the younger children's horses were saddled they all took off for a day in the woods.

Sansa watched as Jon played with the younger boys and Arya, helping them play fight with each other, even use a bow and arrow, something he wasn't as skilled in. He was more of a swordsman, a hand to hand kind of man. Sansa found herself admiring him, even jealous of him. He was so skilled, and so handsome. What a waste she thought… a man like that was born to be King.

She could see now how close Arya and Jon were, how close they had always been, and she found herself once again jealous. She laughed as she watched them throw snow balls at each other. All three of the kids tackling Jon, laughter ringing through the woods like beautiful music. _This illusion in our heads is going to bring us to our knees,_ Sansa thought dangerously. Sansa smiled at Jon who was now sitting in the snow, flakes covering his dark curls and growing facial hair. She smiled a closed mouth smile, one of both joy and one of pain. Would she have to give him up? Was she searching for something she couldn't reach?

It wasn't long before Sansa's Dire Wolf Lady found her and whined, sad she had left her behind. Sansa was amazed when she saw Ghost hiding in the woods watching Jon from afar, he had grown so much more than the other dire wolves. He stalked them like prey, but knew he was just keeping guard, Jon had taught his wolf to do perimeter checks. Sansa felt jealous again, the most she had taught Lady was to lay down, come, and go. She wasn't as close with Lady as Jon was with Ghost, and she found herself a little sad for having neglected her wolf so. She gently stroked Lady between the ears giving into her wolfs demands for attention.

"Sansa," Jon's voice rang over the distance between them. He stood up and walked towards her, sitting beside her quietly. They sat in silence for what felt like awhile whilst everyone played in the snow. She looked over at him, and then looked away blushing, he glanced back at her searching her face, memorizing every feature, "You're beautiful, Sansa Stark…"

"Jon," Sansa said softly looking over to him. But before she could say anything else Sansa got a snowball to the face, "ARYA!"

Jon couldn't help but burst into laughter along with the others. The look on Sansa's face a look of horror and anger, and it was quite amusing to the bunch. It was then that they saw Robb riding out to meet them. Robb informed them that Ned and Catelyn needed them to return to get put together for the arrival of the royals, who were closer than expected. When they were back at the castle and dismounting, everyone's horse was taken to have their saddles removed but as usual Sansa declined the help wanting to do it herself.

"Why do you saddle and groom your horse yourself?" Jon asked brushing out his black horse. It was a beautiful creature, but nothing compared to Sansa's.

"Why do you do yours?" Sansa asked back smartly.

"Bastard, remember?" Jon returned her smart mouth comment with one of his own before smiling at her. She watched him for a minute.

"Because it creates a bond, I would rather be the only one handling my horse. She is mine and I am hers," Sansa said stroking her mares neck, "she may be a prize to some, but she is a friend to me. She is my freedom. I only trust that my care is sufficient enough."

"Much better than my answer," he smiled before Catelyn walked in watching the looks they gave each other.

"Sansa," Catelyn called catching them off guard.

"Yes, mother," Sansa said looking to Jon.

"I need to have words with you," Catelyn clasped her hands together, eyeing Jon with warning.

"Here I'll take care of her for you, if you don't mind," Jon offered Sansa, holding on his hand so she could hand him her lead rope.

"I trust you," she smiled, and then handed him the rope. She looked back as she followed her mother out.

"Jon," Catelyn said coldly, "join the boys in the parlor, you all need to be prepared for the King and Queen's visit."

* * *

"So it's true," Catelyn said rather then asked Sansa as she walked out of the bathing room of her chambers, she was being primped and pampered in preparation for the royals who would be arriving later that day.

"What do you mean?" Sansa asked sitting still as her mother began to brush through her damped hair.

"Jon Snow," was all Catelyn could manage, "I've heard whispers you've grown close…"

"He is supposed to be my brother isn't he?" Sansa asked with attitude, as if her mother's question was ridiculous.

"Your bastard brother, yes," Catelyn started brushing her hair rather roughly, but Sansa wouldn't give her the satisfaction of wincing, "I am talking about a different kind of close. I've seen the way he's watched you for a while, and recently the way you've watched him."

"He isn't actually my brother," Sansa snapped.

"Sansa, it cant happen, you need to end it," Catelyn said turning her daughter to face her.

"I love him," Sansa said for the first time. Catelyn placed a hand on her mouth and backed away, "I understand it isn't an ideal match as we are cousins, but our own grandparents were cousins… Tywin Lannister the richest man in Westeros married his first cousin. Why can't…"

"Because Sansa! Be rational!" Catelyn was now pacing, "he is supposed to be the bastard son of your father! If anyone found out…"

"Why can't we just tell them that he isn't?" Sansa said unaware of why her mother was frantic.

"If you love Jon, you will end it now," Catelyn said watching her daughter sadly, "the father is someone King Robert has sworn to wipe out every last trace of. He would murder Jon and place his head on a pike. Your fathers as well…"

"What?" Sansa gasped.

"The reason we always told you we didn't know his true parents were because our Aunt Lyanna birthed the last son of Rhaegar Targaryen, and if anyone knew of this…" Catelyn broke off, "your father would be considered a traitor."

"So Jon is actually a Targaryen?" Sansa gasped quietly looking at the floor unable to grasp this. As far she could remember he had kidnaped and raped her, and she had died. She whimpered softly as tears came down, "no… this can't be…"

"We have to protect the ones we love," Catelyn said holding her daughters hand, "it's not just Jon's life, but we've been harboring a Targaryen. We would be banished. The best you can do is leave Jon, if you must marry Prince Joffrey to protect him, then do so…"

"Will we be wed soon?" Sansa asked looking down sad, "or will we be able to wait…"

"I don't know my love," Catelyn hated that she had to be the one to break her daughters heart, "no one should have to make such grown up choices at your age…"

"I'll do as I am told," Sansa swallowed deep and sat up straight trying to shut down, feeling herself Ice over, no fire could melt her now.

* * *

"Where's Arya? Sansa, where's your sister?" Catelyn asked looking around, Sansa just shrugged and looked away lost in thought. Golden banners with lions waved in the wind accompanied by the music of horse hooves hitting the ground. Soldier after soldier riding in, and the hound with his helmet shaped like a dog bouncing the rhythm of his horse. They all had been lined up outside waiting for the royals to arrive, and finally Arya came running up in the guise of a soldier.

"Hey, hey, hey… what are you doing with that on, go on," Ned said grabbing Arya and then pulling the helmet from her head. Jon smirked a laugh before looking to Sansa who had glanced back at him before quickly looking back forward. Robb smiled until he noticed the glanced between Sansa and Jon.

"Move," Arya shoved Bran to the side making room for herself. Then Joffrey rode in on his white horse. Sansa watched him carefully, she tried to fake a smile. Robb watched looking back and forth between Sansa and Joffrey obviously unhappy with the way Joffrey watched his sister, but then he caught Jon too watching Sansa and confusing crept onto Robb's face like a shadow over the land during an eclipse. They all bowed as the King rode in on his large black stallion. He climbed off his horse onto a wooden stool before walking to Ned. Sansa kept shushing Arya who couldn't seem to keep her enthusiasm to herself.

"You've got fat," King Robert said seriously, Ned looked down to Roberts belly and made an expression that clearly said 'Look who's talking,' the king chucked embracing his old friend, "I can't deny I've been in anger with you, having refused my first offer as hand of the king. But we will talk of this later. Cat…"

"Your grace," Catelyn accepted the kings embrace as he went down the line praising each of the Stark children.

"You, you must be Sansa," The king stopped at her, he looked her up and down noticing how she had come fully into womanhood, "if I weren't already tied down myself, you would be a woman worth making a queen…"

"Your grace," Sansa curtsied and smiled weakly, unsure how to respond to such flattery. Everything seemed to happen so quickly, before she knew it her father was leading the king down into the crypts where her aunt's body lay at rest. Quickly the feast was ready and Sansa was sitting in her chair watching everyone laugh and joke as if her life wasn't falling out from under her. She knew what would come next, she watched Joffrey watch her.

Joffrey watched Sansa, a look on his face that said he was playing with her in his mind. She could see the wickedness on his face, the way he sized her up leaning to one side in his chair with a smug smile… she was his prey. Jon couldn't help but feel his blood boil as he watched the golden haired Prince eye Sansa like a toy.

Sansa tried to ignore the prince's stare, but she could deny that three or four years' prior her fourteen-year-old self would have been instantly in love with the golden haired boy. She would have been blind to his looks and title, but now that she was older she could see him for who he was. Her eyes glanced over to Jon's who stared darkly at Joffrey before getting up to go outside. Sansa looked around to see her mother and father busy, and so she too quickly snuck away.

Jon was whacking hard at a pretend person when she passed her uncle Benjen who had just been talking to Jon. She smiled at him as she returned the smile and continued on. She watched him for a moment, unsure if she should talk to him, or if pretending he didn't exist would be easier. Before she could turn and run like a coward he spotted her.

"Sansa?" he asked, his breath turning to fog in the cold air. She smiled at him as he took a few steps towards her.

"Jon," she said softly, "I've come… I have to… I've come to tell you goodbye."

"What'd ya mean?" Jon asked his brows lowering in confusion as he dropped the sword in the snow to walk to her. He tried to grab her hand but she pulled it away, her eyes filling with tears.

"Please, Jon," she cried softly, this was harder then she thought it would be.

"I don't understand," Jon said reaching out to touch her face. She didn't back away, she needed to feel the heat of his skin once more.

"I have to protect you," she said softly, "we can't be together. I have to marry Joffrey. I've already heard father speaking with the King, we are to leave for Kingslanding…"

"No, just say no," he grabbed her arm pulling her to him his hand searching her hair desperately as he laid his lips on her. She fell into his embrace for a moment before getting the strength to push him away.

"Enough, Jon, I'm going to be a queen," Sansa tried to stand tall, to be cold.

"It's all you've ever wanted, right?" Jon asked harshly, "the spoiled brat they all said you were. Love isn't enough…"

"I wish it were," she sobbed softly, "please try and understand…"

"Well I hope you'll be very happy, your grace," Jon said sarcastically before picking up the sword from the ground and throwing it was hard as he could at the fake person and storming off towards the castle. Sansa sat there, crying, that had been the hardest thing she ever had to do. But at least he would be alive and no one could hurt him if she were queen. She would be an ice queen. No one could hurt her if she shut it off, and became cold as ice.

* * *

Authors note: Thank you to the three awesome reviewers you rock! Please let me know what you think, how I can improve, or any ideas you might have. What is exciting and working, and what isn't etc etc.


	4. Chapter 4: The Black-Heart

Chapter two: The Black-Heart

* * *

Sansa paced in her bed chambers as she packed her belongings, she was told to pack light but to pack her very best. Anything else she would need could be gotten in Kingslanding. Robb had joked about how Ned being the hand meant he had the power. Sansa knew that her mother hated the idea of them leaving, she had begged Ned to not go. Ned was not given much option this time around, the last time Robert came to visit he was sent away before he was even ready to leave Kingslanding… Ned had made it clear he would stay in the North. The Gods had told him that's where he needed to be.

Somehow Robert had been compelling enough to convince Ned that him being the Hand was the best thing for them all. Sansa didn't want to leave, she especially didn't want to leave Jon. She was told about how glamorous Kingslanding was, and how much she would be treated like a princess. Queen Cersei had already taken a liking to Sansa, which worried Catelyn quite a bit. She knew that the only interest the queen took in things were the things she viewed as a threat.

Sansa finished her packing before going to Arya's room to check on her, she heard Jon in there and couldn't help but ease drop as he gave her a present. She tried her best to keep herself from tearing up, but she knew she would not get a good bye like that from Jon, she knew he hated her now. Her eyes caught his as he left Arya's room, he stopped for a moment, his dark eyes softening when they found her blue ones… but then they grew hard again as he briskly walked off.

Sansa felt like a huge weight had been put on her heart, she knew she was doing the right thing, but it felt wrong to be with anyone but Jon. They all met in a large group outside saying their goodbyes to one another. Sansa hugged her younger brothers and her oldest brother Robb, she then held her mother tight and told her she would be fine. Sansa then found herself in front of Jon who was going to turn and walk away but saw Ned look towards them.

"Good bye Sansa," Jon said lifting his pack higher.

"Jon," Sansa returned the curtesy, knowing he didn't want to. He was dark and broody as usual, the kind of behavior of someone who feels lost and alone. She did not want him to feel alone, "you're not alone, in this world, Jon Snow."

"Aye, that's why I'm taking the Black," Jon said looking away from Sansa.

"The black?" Sansa gasped. To take the black would mean to vow your entire life to the nights watch, to never marry or have children, to never leave the wall until the day you die. He was discarding his family for a new one.

"Aye," Jon tried to walk away but Sansa grabbed his arm as discreetly as possible.

"Why?" Sansa sounded desperate in her pleading, "you will never be able to marry or have children…"

"So Uncle Benjen reminded me," Jon still wasn't looking at her.

"If only you knew what it meant," Sansa said softly, "don't you want to hold a child of your own?  
"What's the point, Sansa? If it won't be with you?" Jon snapped finally looking at her, "your off to marry that royal prick and get a crown. I have nothing left."

"Please don't say that," Sansa pleaded pulling something from her skirt discreetly, "you will always have my heart."

"I guess it will be a Black heart then," Jon tried to walk away but she grabbed his hand leaving something in it before turning to leave him. He looked down at the folded parchment in his gloved hand and then looked up to see her walking away through the white snow to her horse. They all traveled together for some time in a large group before the Nights guard would split off onto their own path. Before Jon rode off to join the others he stopped to talk with Ned one last time before being a sworn brother of the night's watch.

"There is great honor serving in the night's watch, Starks have manned the wall for thousands of years. You are a Stark, you may not have my name, but you have my blood," Ned said looking deeply at his nephew.

"Is my mother alive? Does she know about me… where I am or where I'm going? Does she care?" Jon asked, he knew that Ned was not his father and that he was adopted, but they had never explained to him who his parents really were. Ned looked at the ground, the snow gently falling before looking back at Jon in surprise.

"Sansa did not tell you?" Ned had been in anger with Catelyn for telling Sansa the truth of Jon's parentage, and he was certain she would have told Jon.

"Told me what?" Jon was confused.

"Sansa was told about your parentage and the danger if anyone knew," Ned said softly, his eye brows furrowed down deep cascading wrinkles amongst his eyes, "your mother was my sister. To know anymore is dangerous. The next time we see each other, we will talk more about your mother… and your father. Hm? I promise."

"Aye," Jon agreed wondering why Sansa would not have told him this. He knew maybe he could get the rest from his uncle Benjen. Jon watched as Ned rode back to the royal group, watch Sansa in the distance as she sat upon her beautiful gray mare watching him. He wanted to run to her, to beg her forgiveness, and to ask her to run away with him… but the honor within him made him turn his black horse to follow the rest of the men heading to the wall. Sansa let a tear slip as she watched the young man she loved ride away, his dark short curls following him in the breeze.

* * *

Sansa was slightly ease dropping when she heard the King and her father speaking. They were eating a grand meal in the country side which was just starting to see some snow fall, so a large canopy covered them to keep the snow from falling onto them. She heard Robert pry Ned for information on who the bastard son of his's mother was. Ned would not budge. But then she heard her aunt Lyanna's name brought up, and how Rhaegar had kidnapped her and raped her before killing her. She knew the truth thought, he had kidnapped her because they were in love and she did not love Robert the way he loved her.

They had a boy together, and she died in childbirth asking Ned to keep Jon's identity a secret as Jon was not only a Targaryen which King Robert swore to wipe out, but it also made him the rightful heir to Westeros. Sansa could see now the danger, the serious threat in Robert's voice on wiping out any remaining Targeryen's. She could see how uncomfortable Ned was on the topic and kept trying to change it.

She tried to distract herself by taking Arya and their dire wolves for a walk. But she couldn't stop thinking of Jon. The way he smiled at her in secret, the way a few strands fell into his face when he'd look down to laugh or blush, the softness of his pouty lips. She imagined what their children would look like but that beautiful image was distracted by Joffrey who request she ride beside him like his prized pony in a show ring. She nodded knowing it was the only acceptable thing to do, he would one day be king… and her husband.

"You're really going to marry… that?" Arya scoffed, her long brown hair down and unruly without their mother there to constantly fix her up.

"It's my duty," Sansa helping Arya up to her horse.

"Why?" Arya was still young and didn't quite understand.

"Because the prince has chosen me as his bride, to be his queen," Sansa tried to sound proud, like it was an honor.

"Yuck, I'd have said no, he's a royal ass," Arya stuck her nose in the air.

"Arya! Shut up!" Sansa snapped looking shocked as she looked around to make sure no one heard her, "don't you understand? He has the power; we are his servants…"

"When you become queen, can you demand mother and father to let me be in the Kings guard? I want to be a soldier, please please Sansa," Arya begged as Sansa climbed upon her horse as well.

"Shhhh, Arya, you're a lady, act like one," Sansa snapped distractedly. She smelled a familiar smell that reminded her of Jon, so she closed her eyes and let his image flutter in and out. His fingertips across her skin… the warmth of his breath… images, fluttering like little birds. His eyes sang of sweet sadness… clever trick. _Goodbye my almost lover. Goodbye my hopeless dreams. I am trying hard to forget you, why can't you let me be. Should have known love would be heartache._

"Sansa!" Arya yelled to break Sansa's daze. Sansa shook her head looking at her gloved hand and the cape that clung to her shoulder dangling down her side. She then looked up at Arya, her eyes still lost in what could have been. Sansa smiled at her sister, but Arya saw the tears in Sansa's eyes before she took off to find Joffrey her betrothed. _I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind. So your gone and I'm haunted, and I bet you are just fine. Do I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?_

"You ready?" Ned asked Arya as he rode up to his youngest daughter.

"I don't understand; why does she have to marry Joffrey?" Arya asked watching Sansa.

"She is doing her duty to the King, to the Crown, and to the Realm," Ned answered, obviously not pleased himself with this.

"She doesn't seem very happy," Arya looked over to her father.

"No, I suppose she isn't. It's hard sometimes to do what your told to do. I do not want to leave home and your mother, but our king has requested it and Sansa is old enough now that she will do her duty," Ned tried to convince himself as much as Arya.

"She loves someone else though," Arya's eyes were now sad, "I know she use to be spoiled and rotten, but she is my sister."

"What makes you say that? About her being in love?" Ned had some inkling but Cat refused to tell him why she had told Sansa of Jon's true parentage.

"She cries at night, especially in her sleep, and she says his name…"

"Whose, Joffrey's?" Ned asked as they began riding for the group.

"No, not his," Arya didn't want to say and tattle on her sister, "but she might want to stop saying it before she gets married."

"Arya, whose name?"

"Jon's," Arya crinkled her nose and looked at the ground, "he loves her too… I see the way he looks at her. Like you look at mother…"

"Aye," Ned smiled and looked at the ground realizing now why Catelyn had told Sansa and why Sansa was so willing to marry Joffrey. She could protect Jon by becoming Queen, because she could never marry her "half-brother" and they couldn't tell the world who he was. So instead of living a loveless life as a Lord's wife, she would be queen in a loveless marriage.

* * *

Jon sat with the dwarf not far in front of him, his nose in a book. He pulled out the note tucked in his glove and opened it. He read it repeatedly, feeling his heart break over and over again. Her hand writing. She had touched that piece of paper, her sent all over it. His eyes never left the paper.

 _'Dearest Jon,_

 _I hope one day you will forgive me. I hope someday you will be able to understand why I must sacrifice my life… you should live yours. Please live yours knowing you have my heart. Knowing that I will never love anyone as I love you. My only regret was not seeing in you sooner what I've come to see this last year. Please be well… I love you. Forever._

 _Yours Forever,_

 _S. S_

Jon finally looked up to see the imp looking at him, so he sparked the question on why he always had a book under his nose in which he got a long explanation about his brother being the brawn and himself being the brain. Jon followed along but all he could think of was Sansa's milk white skin, her long red hair falling below her waist, the pink of her lips and blue of her eyes. He longed to kiss and hold her once more, he wished he hadn't spent their last days the way they had.

"What's that bastard?" Tyerion asked pointing at the note in Jon's hand. Jon just looked at him as he tucked it back into his glove.

* * *

"S'cuse me my little Lord," Ned rode up to Joffrey and Sansa, "may I have words with my daughter briefly?"

"I spose," Joffrey scoffed at the hindrance, "looks like we made it to a town anyways. Milady."

"My prince," Sansa returned his curtsy softly before looking to her father.

"Sansa," Ned said softly as he rode beside her, "Arya tells me you cry in your sleep… and you say Jon's name."

"Father… I…!"

"Listen, Please, we've worked hard to keep Jon safe and alive. I know you love him, he is the kind of man you deserve as your husband. Someone Brave. Strong. And Gentle. But life isn't always beautiful Sansa, sometimes it's just plain hard. It can knock you down and even break your heart. The struggles will make you stronger, and the changes will make you wise. Happiness has its own way of taking its time my dear. Tears will fall sometimes, it isn't always beautiful but it is a beautiful ride," Ned said looking down at his horse, "I know you're going to get tired of walking so many lonely miles, I wish for you to smile and find happiness. I will always be there for you."

"Thank you father," Sansa smiled at him. Glad he wasn't prying about her and Jon. Sansa entered the town leaving her father so she could walk Lady. She found herself stopped and frightened by one of Joffrey's guard, the royal executioner. The hound then showed up to stir the nerves. Joffrey joined in sending the hound away.

"Away with you dog, your scaring milady, I don't like to see you upset," Joffrey sent the hound away, Sansa tried to give a small smile. It wasn't the hound that frightened her or Sir Illen Payne, but the worry of Jon taking the Black and saying his final vows, "the sun is finally shining, come walk with me."

"Stay Lady," Sansa told her dire wolf before faking another smile and following the prince. As they walked he offered her wine, but she only took a little despite his urging of a princess can drink as much as she wants.

"Don't worry, your safe with me," Joffrey smile, his blue eyes on Sansa as they heard the sound of wood sword against wood.

"Arya!" Sansa said with more irritation then surprise.

"What are you doing here?" Arya then knocked the boy to the ground, Sansa smiled at her sisters strong will and playfulness, "go away…"

"Your sister?" Joffrey asked looking between the beautiful redhead girl to the brown haired tomboy. It all happened so quickly, Joffrey taunted the boy trying to start a fight despite Arya and Sansa's protest. Sansa could see now the cruelness of the prince, the way he enjoyed using his power over others. The prince had his sword against the boy's cheek cutting slowly and deeply. Before Sansa could do anything Arya hit Joffrey over the back with her stick, the young boy she had been sparring with took off. He swung around trying to cut Arya and Sansa found herself yelling at them both to stop.

"Stop it! Both of you!" Sansa called, tears coming down in her face. She had to protect her sister, and she worried he would kill her. Arya had fallen and the prince's sword at her throat.

"I'll gut you, you little cunt!" he yelled, but before he could do anything Arya's dire wolf Nymeria jumped out of the brush and bit his wrist. Arya quickly called her wolf back before any damage was done, but it spooked the boy. Arya picked up his sword and tossed it into the river before taking off.

"Arya!" Sansa called after her sister, still shaken by what she had seen. When night had fallen Sansa found herself being pulled into a great room where a crowd of people stood, The King and Queen in the front with Joffrey. Arya stood scared by Ned. She could see then that Queen was just as awful as her spawn. She eyed Sansa like a toy, threatening her to not say the wrong thing. If she were fourteen she would have feared the queen, or displeasing her or Joffrey but she did not.

"Tell me the truth girl, it is a sin to lie to your King," Robert Baratheon spoke mighty. She had not heard the stories told, so she only had hers to tell.

"It was all so fast, Joffrey and I were walking when we spotted Arya and the Butchers son play fighting. For some reason our young prince proceeded to antagonize the boy including cutting him for no reason, my sister tried to stop him in which he began to try and attack her with the sword. When she fell, he said he was going to gut her and called her a cunt. Her wolf jumped to defend her, my lord," Sansa spoke softly but she spoke true. Robert nodded looking at an unhappy Cersei.

"Liar!" Joffrey tried to yell but the king shut him down.

"Kids fight, get over it," Robert grunted standing up, "deal with your daughter Ned, and I'll deal with my boy."

"What of the dire wolf?" Cersei asked, "your son will have to live with these scars forever."

"What scars? They are scratches?" Robert was tired of his wife's rantings, "besides the boy needs a few scars to toughen up."

"Your grace," Ned was grateful to the king.

"I want one of them dead," Cersei spoke louder to her king, "they are beast not pets."

"Only a coward would harm an innocent animal," Sansa couldn't stop herself from saying out loud much to her surprise and her sisters, "yet neither of our wolves were the animal today."

"Sansa," Ned turned to face her, everyone gasping at her. They were all surprised to find Robert chuckling with amusement.

"To bed!" Robert hollered a growl before taking off himself still in laughter. Everyone could hear him in the halls saying, "I like that girl she's got that red headed sass…"

Cersei watched Sansa with a fierce gaze, and at that moment she realized she had made an enemy. A dangerous one. She would have to be more careful from here on out. She could see now how Cersei would find her a threat. This worried Ned, and she could see this in his eyes. Sansa rushed Arya to their room to get some rest, where she could finally escape to her dreams… where Jon would be waiting for her.

* * *

Authors note: Thank you all for the reviews so far! I so appreciate it! You're so awesome! As mentioned before, taking clips from the show and rearranging them to how they would have changed if it had been several years later.


	5. Chapter 5: Rightful Heir

Authors note: Thanks for all of the support I enjoy reading everyone's awesome reviews. Just know I APPRECIATE IT. Also remember this is based off the tv show not the books version, fate can only be altered a little so since they managed to avoid their original fate, its caught up to them so a lot of events will happen but be changed because of how the characters have changed in those few extra years. Sansa grew up a little more and fell in love, so she is different than she was as her 13-year-old self in the original. Soon we will meet the fateweaver who changed the course of their fate.

* * *

Chapter 5: Rightful Heir

Jon's thoughts were conflicting, they went back and forth between Sansa and the way he left things, and the events that had perspired since he arrived at castle black. He stabbed the practice swords into the wood holders as three of the boys from training walked in. He didn't not look right away, he tried to shuffle away the thoughts of Sansa.

"You broke my nose bastard," the first boy said. Jon slowly turned around to face him, watching him with a straight face.

"It's an improvement," Jon said still with a straight face, a small smile itching at the edge of his lips. It happened quick, arms wrapping around him and holding him in place. He did not try to fight back as a blade closed in on his throat, a part of him thought it would be a sweet mercy, to end the agony his heart was in.

"I could throw you over the wall, I wonder how they would…"

"I wonder if they would find your body before the wolves did…" another voice interrupted as the door creaked, opening for the small dwarf behind it.

"Whatcha looking at half-man?"

"I'm looking at you, yes, you've got an _interesting_ face," Tyrion smiled a wicked grin, "mmmm very distinctive faces. All of you."

"And what of you to care about our faces?" the one holding Jon's arms back said to Tyrion.

"It's just that I think they would look marvelous decorating spikes in Kingslanding, I could write to my sister, the queen about it," Tyrion smiled leaning against the door as the boys then quickly dispersed. Jon backed up slowly, deep in breath, adrenalin filling his veins. Tyrion stepped towards Jon who seemed to be lost in a daze.

"Everyone knew what this place was, and no one told me, no one but you. My father knew, and he left me to rot here at the wall all the same," Jon stared at the imp, his thoughts shuffling between his favorite moments of Sansa. Her smile. Her blue eyes. Her angelic childlike voice.

"Grins father left him to, outside a farm house, when he was three. Pip was caught stealing a wheel of cheese, his little sister hadn't eaten in three days. He was given a choice between the wall and his hand. I've been asking the Lord Commander about them, fascinating stories," Tyrion looked at each of the boys as they fiddled with their armor and weapons.

"They hate me because I'm better than they are," Jon snapped, the anger not really with them, but the fact he knew he regretted his choice to be there- he wanted to be with Sansa. But he knew he couldn't. He was more so angry for falling in love with her.

"It's a lucky thing none of them are trained by a master of arms like your sir Orrick, I don't imagine any of them have ever held a real sword before they came here. Besides, if I was your father I'd have sent you away myself… If I saw you looking at your half-sister the way I saw it, a look I've seen and know all too familiar, I'd send you away as well. Here, are note, about your brother Bran," Tyrion handed a stunned Jon the small round letter. Jon took it from the imp before looking at the boys around him, hoping they hadn't heard. How did the imp know about his feelings for Sansa, the tone in the imp's voice also indicated a knowledge that Sansa wasn't indeed his sister? He knew at that moment he needed to train Grins and Pip, he knew what the ultimate message Tyrion was leaving with him on how to survive the wall.

* * *

Sansa tried to settle into her room in the castle, it had been a wonderful experience riding into Kings Landing, the people there to watch in awe. She felt like a princess. But it wasn't what she had expected. All she could see was dark curls and dark eyes, a smile that could melt ice. To let a love like that go, to give it all away to be queen… it seemed ridiculous. But she knew she was doing it for the right reasons, she only wished that she could see him one more time, to hold his hand and kiss his lips and tell him how she would miss him every day, but that she needed to protect him. To know he was alive was all she needed to survive, even if it was a miserable existence.

Sansa finally made her way to the dining area of their suit in the castle, she ate in silence with Arya who was still seething in anger over the prince. Lady lay quietly in the corner watching Sansa, feeling her sorrow and despair. Ned walked in to see both his daughters quietly stabbing at their food rather than eating it.

"Arya, can you give your sister and I moment please?" he spoke softly. She stood up not saying a word, "and take lady with you."

"Come Lady," Arya called to Lady, but lady just whimpered looking at Sansa, "Lady, come. Come on Lady…"

"Lady, Go!" Sansa yelled at Lady, not meaning to be so aggressive but she was in a bitter mood. Lady whimpered once more before getting up to follow Arya into her room.

"I'll be in there in a moment," Ned called to Arya before laying down a gift next to Sansa, "that's for you love."

"Thank you," Sansa said unsurely as she began to unwrap what he laid down. A little porcelain doll laid in the straw it was wrapped with, "a doll?"

"The same doll maker makes all of Princess Marcella's toys," he said watching her as she stared at the doll silently.

"I'm not a little girl anymore, father," Sansa said not looking up at him, she feared he'd see the truth in her eyes. She could see that it held something for her father, "it's beautiful. May I be excused please?"

"You've barely eaten a thing," their nan stopped her knitting to look at Sansa.

"It's alright," Ned said looking down. He knew why Sansa looked so miserable. He didn't have the heart to tell her she needed to not be so open with her feelings. He knew it wasn't the right time, "go on."

"Father," Sansa tried to be courteous as she stood up and took her leave.

* * *

Sansa laid her head on her pillow and closed her eyes. Dark curls. Dark eyes. Pouty lips. A smile that lit her within. Why couldn't she let him go, why couldn't she lock him away and move on. Why was he haunting her like… like a _Ghost_? She couldn't help but think over the month she had already spent there, the jousts, the prince of flowers. He was undoubtedly handsome, his blonde curls opposite of Jon's dark ones. Jon's eyes were dark and mysterious, warm and calm like after a storm. The Knight of Roses eyes were bright like a sunny day, gentle and yet slightly cold.

She still had the rose he gave her in a vase, and yet it reminded her of the beautiful rare blue one Jon had given her… so she let her mind wonder dangerously if perhaps she could marry the prince of Roses despite the rumors of his preferred sex, that simplified things… she wouldn't have to pretend to love him because he loved boys. She heard a few taps at the door that distracted her from her deep dangerous thoughts. She told them to come in, and it was a servant there to tell her the prince would like to see her. She quickly got up and fixed herself up before following the servant obediently to where the prince was waiting for her.

"My love," Joffrey said holding his hand in wait of hers. She stared at him, no smile, as she laid her hand in his. Her eyes lowered wondering what awful things he would say to her after she betrayed him the way she had.

"My prince," she said still looking at the ground. His hand met her chin lifting it up so he could look her in the eyes. He then began to apologize for ignoring her and treating her cruelly, made sweet promises she knew were lies. She pretended to drink it all in like she believed in him and wanted him. With every false smile she could see him fluff up more and more like a peacock. He put on her a beautiful necklace that looked like his mother's and she pretended to adore it.

* * *

"I know for a fact some of the officers go to that brothel in town," Sam said scrubbing the table, trying to fill the silence between him and his new friend.

"I wouldn't doubt it," Jon said also scrubbing, slightly relieved he had been woken from his day dream. _Soft lips. Gentle whispers. I love you Jon. Red hair. Milk white skin. Blue eyes. Sansa._

"Well don't you think it's a little bit unfair? Making us take our vows while they sneak off for a little Sally on the side…"

"Sally on the side?" Jon asked confused and slightly grossed out.

"Silly isn't it?! What, we can't defend the wall, unless we are celibate? It's absurd!" Sam stood up outraged at the idea.

"I didn't think youd be so… upset about it," Jon teased, returning to his scrubbing of the tables.

"Why not? Cause I'm fat?" Sam tried to hide the wounded pride in his voice.

"No," Jon tried to fix what he said, realizing how it sounded.

"Well I like girls, just as much as you do... they might not like me as much," he shrugged off, still looking at Jon who was scrubbing vigorously, obviously uncomfortable with the topic, "I've never… been with one. You probably had hundreds…"

"No," Jon's dark curls bounced as he scrubbed hard, as if he were trying to scrub away the memory of Sansa, the pain she caused him. He then finally paused knowing Sam would now be more curious, so he dropped the brush and looked up, "as a matter of fact, the same as you."

"Ha, yeah… I find that hard to believe," Sam laughed a small nervous laugh before resuming his scrubbing.

"I came very close once," Jon hesitated, not sure whether he should talk about it, whether Sam could be trusted but he felt like If he didn't say anything it would rupture and burst inside of him. He paused for a moment before speaking again, his eyes glazed over in remembrance, "I was alone in my room, and she came in. She ended up naked…"

"Didn't know where to put it?" Sam laughed jokingly when Jon had paused. Jon gave him a look that could kill.

"I know where to put it," he growled looking down. He had wanted to so badly, but he knew he couldn't for so many reasons.

"Was she old and ugly?" Sam wasn't sure how to ask it, so he fidgeted as he said the words.

"Young and gorgeous. The most beautiful girl alive, and She would have given me herself, "Jon fiddled with the table as he sat down. Sam's smile was wide as he took in the story with enthusiasm.

"What colored hair?" Sam asked excitedly.

"Red," Jon smirked, a smile playing at the edge of his lips as he thought about her.

"And her… uhm," Sam made the gesture of boobs. Jon just smirked and looked down.

"You don't want to know," he joked.

"What that good?" Sam asked quickly.

"Better," he had fantasied about her every night, what it would have been like if he hadn't told her no.

"So why exactly did you not make love to the red head girl with the perfect…" Sam then again made the gesture of breasts.

"What's my name?" Jon's smile faded as he watched the ground, still sitting on the table.

"Jon Snow," Sam said confused.

"Why is my sir name Snow?" Jon asked. Trying to get his point across.

"Because… you're a bastard, from the north," Sam said in pieces not sure how to answer without offending.

"I never met my mother, my father wouldn't even tell me her name, until recently, I didn't even know if she was living or dead. Turns out she isn't alive. I grew up not knowing if she was a noble woman, or a fishermen's wife, or a whore. Now I finally know, but growing up… so I sat there after undressing her… all I could think about was what this could do to her. What if she got pregnant with my bastard child? Another Bastard Named Snow. That's not a good life for a child, nor for her since we could never be together… so it would mean the ruin of her," Jon was deep in thought before turning around to continue scrubbing.

"So… you didn't know where to put it," Sam joked a huge smile coming to his face. Jon tossed the brush at him before running over to play fight. Jon couldn't deny that even in his misery, it finally felt good to have some friends.

* * *

Sansa had been spending a lot of time with Prince Joffrey and the queen, and it was wearing her out pretending to be something she really wasn't. All she wanted was Jon. She found herself in the bird keep attaching a letter to a raven's leg. She sent a small letter to Jon hoping he would receive it. When she got back she was surprised to see her father there looking worried. Arya was already sitting there, it looked like her father and uncovered something. She knew him well enough to know he wasn't there to talk about that, he wouldn't burden his daughters with such stuff. It had been several months already in Kingslanding, time flew so fast yet every day seemed to last so long. It was only in Sansa's dreams she could be with Jon.

"I'm sending you both home,"

"What why?" Arya said angrily.

"Oh thank the gods," Sansa sighed in relief catching both her father and sister off guard. She wanted to go home with her brothers and sister. She wanted to be closer to the wall. She wanted to tell her mother she was tired of pretending she didn't love Jon, the months away pretending to love someone else only made her love more maddening and intense. After that it had all happened so quickly. Before she could even leave with her sister her father was imprisoned, the king was dead, and her father was being trialed as a traitor.

Sansa's hand shook as she wrote out the words Cersei pushed her to write to Robb. She knew it was wrong, but more so she hoped her brother would see through what she wrote. She hoped he would not do as was requested. She hid a few words in her letter that she had hoped her brother would know the meaning of. She then spent every waking moment trying to pretend like she didn't hate them, like it was her father who was the traitor. Sansa played her part well of the loving devoted queen to be, she even had little finger fooled, which wasn't an easy feat despite how often he told her he didn't believe her.

* * *

Jon laid in his quarters thinking about what had happened, he had been cutting meat when the only person who seemed to hate him in the world pushed his buttons by calling him a traitor's bastard. Word had spread quickly that Ned Stark rot in a prison, Sansa was stuck with the enemy, Arya was missing, and his cousin who had always been like brother was planning to go to war. He clutched tightly a small script of paper that simply said ' _I will Always Love You Jon Snow,_ ' it was Sansa's handwriting but it did not say her name. He knew the danger she would face if she left too many clues as to who it was from. He did not mind the mocking from those who had seen the letter, nor the constant pestering to know what hideous low born would love a bastard… he wanted to rub it in their faces that he had the love of the most beautiful girl in the world, even if she turned his love away.

Ghost caught his attention with the constant barking, whining, and scratching. Jon sat up, tucking her letter into his boot, and asking his dire wolf what was wrong. He grabbed his sword and left his room with Ghost at his heels. Ghost had led Jon to the lord commanders chamber, and Jon knocked calling to the commander with no response. Jon opened the door and walked in slowly, the sound of the fire cracking in the distance, and the sound of each foot he carefully placed leaving a tapping sound. His breath turned the icy air into a fog as he breathed nervously through his open mouth.

Jon called out once more, a door slamming shut behind him caught his attention. Heavy boot fall pounded as a large frozen man bounded towards him, his eye glazed over white and something evil rising out of him. The man grabbed Jon by the throat pushing him up the wall, Jon stabbed him repeatedly with a small blade but the creature didn't even whence. Finally, he dropped Jon long enough for Jon to head butt him and pull out his long sword. Jon sliced his arm off, too busy to hear Ghost barking and clawing at the door wanting to save his person. The creature grabbed Jon by the throat once more and caught him off guard, Jon for the first time felt true fear since going to Castle Black. As the creature moved to corner him back into a wall again Jon put his blade through its torso. The creature fell over, appearing to die.

"Snow?" The commander asked holding his light up.

"Commander!" Jon shouted running to him. The creature's eyes opened up before he finally stood once more pulling the sword from his torso. Jon grabbed the lamp from the commander's hands, hearing the hissing of skin as he threw it at the creature and then pushing his commander through the door. Jon's mind wandered to Sansa, if he died, who was going to save her? Who was going to help Robb? What happened to Arya, who would find her? Would Sansa cry over hearing he died? He tried to shake the thoughts from him as they tried to escape. He could hear the strange cries as the fire took the creatures life. It was then he knew that it was not a normal creature.

After burning the remaining bodies and hearing Sam talk about them being white walkers. He knew that there was more to fear in the world then just Queen Cersei and her prick of a boy. He could not deny he was needed at the wall, but he knew he had to first help his father and brother take down the Lannister's. More importantly, he needed to save Sansa from whatever fate awaited her in Kingslanding.

* * *

Sansa had waited for what felt like forever. She knew what she was doing would likely end in her death. But tomorrow Joffrey would prance her father around as a spectacle as he drugs their name through the dirt. She knew why her father was called a traitor, but she also learned why he said what he said. King Robert died with no legitimate heir. Sansa was as quiet as a mouse, she had taken the time to know when the guars would switch shifts, when they would usually go and grab lunch or take a leak, she had carefully watched and plotted. She walked down to the chambers where she had been led to once to beg for him to confess false truths.

She heard the guards talking as they left to get food, she had only a few spare moments to get in and get out. She held tightly to the small sack with food and water in it. Her heart raced in her chest, beating against her rib cage as if it meant to escape. Her hands trembled and shook. She quickly entered the dungeon where her father had been laying, exhausted and starving. Ned looked up to see the face of an angel, the face of his daughter.

"Sansa," he asked softly, almost broken. He knew he was going to die, he only wished he hadn't drug her along.

"Father, get up," she demanded handing him a crust of bread and some water, "we mustn't waste time."

"Sansa, this would be treason," Ned said trying to stand.

"Haven't you heard yet father, our family is full of traitors," Sansa was annoyed with her father and his honor, "for once do what's right for your family."

"Sansa," he said in shock.

"Your bloody honor got us here in this place, in the first place. It also got you tossed into a dungeon," Sansa was trying to be sensible with her father, "you must go, I will stay behind and cover for you."

"Don't be a child Sansa, they will know you helped me," Ned said placing a hand on her shoulder to steady himself. He took a swig of water.

"Fine, I'll go to, but we must make haste," Sansa said helping him out. She quickly followed along the plan she had, taking the backways she knew would be empty until they made it to the stables. Soon the city would be in an uproar and put into lock down. They were quickly in the stables and on horses when Arya popped out she had been hiding there all along waiting for the perfect time to escape. Sansa breathed relief as she hugged her sister, "we must go now."

"Aye," Ned wobbled unsteadily on the horse he had procured as he shared his bread with Arya. It wasn't long before they were in open field heading for the last known location of Robb. They rode fast and hard ignoring the sounds of the city as they tried to lock down. They were all now traitors.

"Ned!" Catelyn gasped as she stood up from her seat in the tent. Robb and the others all stood up as well gasping as a skinny sick looking Ned walked in. Sansa followed behind him, Arya beside her. Catelyn hugged her husband before grasping her daughter's tears in her eyes.

"Father!" Robb hugged his father in relief. Assuming this meant the war could be over, a truce could be bargained.

"Can we go home now?" Arya asked as she grasped at Robb. She had grown so quickly since he last saw her.

"No," Ned said looking at his family.

"The crown has been usurped by Lannister's. The rightful King needs to take his crown," Ned said his arm still around his wife.

"Stannis?" Catelyn asked looking up at her husband, all the Northman Lords looking at him.

"No, Jon Snow is the rightful heir to Westeros," Ned said looking out at everyone, their confusion obvious.

"Your bastard?" Lord Umber asked gruffly.

"He is not my bastard, but my nephew. We've kept his identity a secret his whole life. King Robert would have had him killed, but now that Robert is gone, rest his soul. Jon is the son of Lyanna Stark-Targaryen. She married Rhaegar Targaryen and gave birth to a little boy named Aejon Targaryen. Jon for short, my sister made me promise to keep him safe, especially from Robert. He is the last male Targaryen, and he belongs on that throne."

"Ned," Catelyn said in shock that he and had finally told them.

"So we are still at war?" Arya asked stepping forward, "Jon would be a good King."

"Aye," said Ned, knowing he raised him to be a good kind man. He looked to Sansa and smiled at her.

"Why should we rule behind a Targaryen?" one of the Northman asked with disgust, "We will follow a Stark into battle, but not some Dragon brat."

"Because he was raised as a Stark, he has the Stark bloodline," Ned said fiercely. "he was raised a Northmen."

"Let us call upon our True King," Robb stood up, he knew Jon would be a King they could all look up to. Sansa smiled, looking at the floor.


	6. Chapter 6: Mercy

Chapter 6: Mercy

Sansa fiddled with her dress as she paced back and forth, she had been waiting days at Winterfell for another raven, some sort of word from her lord Father. They had been gone for a little over a month, but every day that ticked away was one less day restoring Jon as King. She knew that it was going to be hard to gain Jon from the Nights watch after swearing his vow. Robb and Ned had argued for days about it, whether it was really a good idea, what it meant for the North to Rally behind another Targaryen. Sansa of course believed Jon would make a far better King then Robert ever did, then Joffrey ever could, and certainly anyone with Cersei whispering in their ear ever should.

It had been several weeks that Sansa remained at home with her brothers, Arya, and her mother. Catelyn was more than happy to not see Jon, she knew Jon was not really Ned's bastard, and they would finally be able to put that charade behind them. She could walk in the town without looking at others whispering about how she couldn't keep her own husband to their bed. She may not have hated Jon, like she would if he was truly a bastard of Ned Stark, but she resented him for the life she had to live… being the wife of an honorable man who couldn't keep his honor to himself.

Sansa tried to avoid her mother, she knew what her mother would tell her about her love for Jon. But all she wanted was to see his face. All she wanted was to apologize for making him think she didn't love him. Sansa tried to find small things in the days she was home again to occupy herself, she worked on her archery with her brothers Bran and Rickon, she let Arya teach her to fight with a sword, as well as hid in the cold winter forest reading books. Bran had been telling Sansa of his weird dreams, white demons and a calling, someone was calling for Bran… but Sansa told him it was only nightmares.

Sansa's train of thought was broken when she heard the arrival trumpets in the background. Her father was returning home; the question now was if Jon was with him. Where they able to convince Jon to break his vows, and how would they help him get out of this. Sansa quickly threw on her winter coat and called Lady to her side as she ran down the hall to a nearby balcony that would overlook the entrance to the keep.

She scanned the many men riding through the gate, many more then what had left the keep of Winterfell. Apparently they had been recruiting along the way. Sansa's breath turned to smoke before her as her gazed from one man's unrecognizable face to the next. Each one a blur, each one strange, each one not his… she could never forget his face. _Jon…_ she whispered still searching for him. Finally, she saw her father and Robb, someone beside them with their face hidden by the swirls of others. Sansa ran to her mirror to check if she looked okay, trying to tie her hair to the side as she looked over herself.

"Sansa!" Arya yelled as Sansa ran passed her nearly knocking her over in the hall. Sansa shouted back her apologies, as her feet hit the floor as fast as they could, just to be near him… she needed it. Heart open. Was she crazy? Was she asking for a lot? Would he even want to see her? Even though he didn't mean to hurt her, he tore her apart, the very knowledge of his existence… the memory of his touch. All of it tore her apart, every day, consuming her, ripping her to pieces, but she would gladly go through that then lose him, to lose the feelings he gave her. _Have Mercy, Jon, have mercy on my heart._

Sansa stopped when she got to the great hall which was lit with life: voices and enthusiasm. Catelyn was already there waiting to embrace her husband and son. Sansa's heart race, her chest heavy with movement, her breath ripping at her chest fiercely. She looked at her shaking trembling hand as it rested upon the door in front of her, slowly pushing it open, letting the light spill through the crack as her eyes started making out faces in the crowded room. Sansa walked in and scanned the room searching for Jon. She watched her mother and father laughing, pleased to be back in one another's presence, Robb joked with Theon and his little brothers. There in the midst of back claps and praise stood an awkward Jon Snow, dressed in black, looking uncomfortable by all the attention. He was so use to being in the back ground, never in anyone's conversations, never joining in the merriments. Sansa stopped breathing for a moment, his eyes lifting to hers.

He stopped moving, he stopped talking, unsure of how to respond to the woman who left to marry another. Here she was after all that time apart. The object of every dream, every nightmare, every secret deep dark thought. Their eyes stayed connected. He took the first step, but she sprinted, in his arms in a flash. Jon's arms tangled in her red hair as he inhaled a deep whiff of it, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, her head tucked into the crevice of his chest and neck, soft sobs soaking his black wool cloak. He could feel her deep breaths and sobs, even if the sound of them were drowned out by the sound of the room. To those who noticed it was as if two siblings, or relatives had been reunited, none could suspect what was truly happening.

Jon and Sansa stayed there for a while, his lips resting on her head as he gently caressed and stroked her red hair while she calmed down in his arms. The room moved and buzzed around them, but they were stuck and lost in a moment, the world melting away around them as they gave into something they longed for. It wasn't until Ned grabbed Jon's arm, whispering to him about meeting in the chambers to discuss visitors, a note that had arrived for them a couple days prior. Jon looked from Ned, his uncle, to Sansa. He nodded.

"I'll be there in a moment, I need to rest," Jon said, Ned watched him for a moment unsure that this was a wise idea, but he nodded knowing that he really couldn't tell Jon anything anymore. Jon was his own man, more importantly he was going to be crowned King of the North and rallying to be the rightful heir to the Iron throne.

"Alright," Ned nodded looking to Sansa who was stilled wrapped in Jon's arm. Ned sighed, he knew something that would mean heart ache for them in the end. He knew he couldn't take this one moment from them, he smiled a sad one before walking back to join his commanders who were getting ready to meet in the meeting chambers before the big feast that night. Jon grabbed Sansa's hand and led her out of the great hall. He closed the door behind him drowning out the noise, he wanted to hear her voice so badly, to hear her.

"Your beautiful," Jon stared down at her, she took his breath away, even if her eyes were full of tears.

"Jon," she whimpered. He gently wiped the tears away before leaning down to kiss her. Both his hands held her face, he could feel the warm wet tears on her cheeks, he could taste the salt from the tears that had ran down to her mouth. He strangely found joy in it, in knowing that she cared he was there, that she was responding. She pulled away so that her watery blue eyes could peer into his, she then grabbed his hand leading him down the hall and to her room.

"Sansa, what are you doing?" he asked confused, stopping her outside the door.

"You bring me back to life," she said softly. Looking up into his eyes. Her long arms wrapping around his neck once more, he lifted her up as her legs wrapped around his torso. He braced her up against the wall as their kisses grew passionate, and his desire grew strong. He moved backwards until he hit her door, she reached down opening it so he could back in and kick it shut. Together the fell onto her bed, their kisses never breaking, not even for air. His hand ran down the length of her body and back up to her face. Was this a dream? Was it too good to be true?

"So you're the one I've been dreaming of," he said softly looking down at her. His finger tracing the shape of her face.

"Now you know, you know I was trying to protect you," Sansa said trying to hold back tears, her chest heavy with breath, she peered up at the beautiful man above her. He nodded.

"Your father told me the truth, about why you went to Kingslanding, about why we couldn't be together," he said watching her, "I admit I still hate it, and I resent it, but I understand. I also admire that you loved me enough to sacrifice yourself to protect me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to give up your life for mine… I'd give you my heart in return, but you already own it."

"Jon," she whispered reaching up and touching his face. He closed his eyes as he melted into her hand.

"I thought of you every day, every night, every dream," he said softly, "it was torture."

"And I you," Sansa whimpered trying to keep control, to not cry again. He opened his eyes and smiled at her, "I thought you'd still hate me… I wouldn't blame you."

"No one could ever hate you," Jon said with such seriousness that she almost believed him. Sansa reached up pushing off his heavy black coat, and untying the laces of his tunic, "Sansa…"

"No, don't say anything, not this time," she said, determination in her eyes. He couldn't deny he wanted her so badly, that he regretted every day having been so noble and honorable. But nothing would stop them now from being together, they weren't seen as siblings any longer. He began to unlace her dress, and she helped him remove his shirt viewing some of the new scars on his chest from training. He helped her remove her dress, she giggled as she tried to awkwardly cover herself, worrying he wouldn't like what he saw.

"You're beautiful," he reassured her before kissing her deeply, passionately. She smiled, biting her lip, before she relaxed, letting him kiss her bare skin. She shuttered as he licked and played gently with her nipples with his mouth. He then made his way down her torso, catching her by surprise when his tongue made contact with her maidenhood. He just smiled looking up at her, "you trust me don't you?"

"I don't know, can I?" Sansa teased feeling vulnerable but excited. She knew it was wrong but it was so right.

"Aye," he said lifting his eye brows deviously before he was back between her legs making Sansa giggle and squirm as he used his tongue to apply pleasurable torture to her clit.

"Oh Gods Jon," she moaned as her maidenhood began to swell, the nerves becoming sensitive. He could taste her excitement, and this excited him to no extend. He began to kiss up her stomach making his way back to her full hard breasts as he used his fingers to swirl the pleasure into Sansa until she erupted with a strange sort of amazing sensation throughout her body. It trembled and tensed beneath him, his fingers then exploring inside of her, preparing her for what would come next. He had always heard the other boys talk about the things they did to girls, and now he could finally know what they talked about. It felt amazing to him to make her body react that way to him, Sansa moaned and begged for him… "Jon…"

"Sansa," he said kissing her lips, her hands tracing along his body as she felt the tip of his manhood brushing against her. She was scared, but at the same time excited. She had always heard her ladies' maids and a few friends talking about their experiences. Told of how it hurt at first. She looked deep into his eyes, trusting him. He slowly slid in, he was going to stop because he could feel her tensing, it hurt her a bit but she told him to keep going. She wanted this for long, nothing would stop her from being one with him. He granted her request, a strange sensation and joy coming over him as he was inside of her.

The tightness that grasped around his manhood, sending the little nerves afire as he mood slowly in and out inside of her. It took a little bit before she was able to relax, but when she did she was able to enjoy his presence fully. Her mouth on his, as if hungry for him. Together they were one, and she couldn't have felt anymore in love then she did at that moment. He was so gentle and loving to her, she couldn't help but admire him. He was a King, the image of a God, and he was hers. She moaned as he kissed down her neck, his hand still feeling her body before she felt his manhood enlarge and release a sticky warmth within her. He collapsed on her, his head gently on her breast as she stroked his hair. Her other hand was entangled in his. After a little while Jon lifted his head to look at Sansa who was resting her eyes, she felt the warmth of his wet lips on her mouth, stirring her awake.

"We should go to dinner soon," he said still on top of her. She looked up at his and brushed some hair from his forehead.

"Must we? Or could we stay like this a little longer?" she asked looking up at him with tender loving eyes.

"Aye, I spose we could," he said resting down on an elbow so that he could look down at her as he drew little pictures on her skin with the tip of his finger. They laughed and joked, telling each other about the time they spent a lot, some of it they didn't laugh at… but at that moment they didn't care. They were together again, finally.

* * *

Jon and Sansa walked into the feast together, the room buzzing with life and noise. They sat next to each other at the main table not caring about anything else going on around them. They ate, they danced, they joked, and everyone around could slowly start to pick up on what was going on between Sansa and Jon… it seemed to concern quite a few people. Gossip spread like wild fire, until Ned heard what others were whispering. He looked over to see Jon and Sansa dancing, the way they looked at each other fooled no one, love was blossoming. Ned sighed before walking to the two who were dancing.

"So how did you manage to get away from your vows?" Sansa asked Jon before he twirled her.

"Your Father argued the point that I took my vows as Jon Snow, and apparently my real name is not Jon… and it isn't Snow. My parents were wed, so my last name is Targaryen. Aejon Targaryen did not take any vows. My friends from the black will be joining me soon, and we will be sending replacements to protect against the threat beyond the wall. I have to go back… there are things I need to do, but first I need to be the face of this rebellion, or so Ned says…"

"Jon, Sansa, a word in the meeting chambers please," Ned said softly, interrupting the two. Sansa and Jon looked at each other but followed obediently. The silent sound of feet against the cold hard ground echoed eerily as the three of them silently made their way to the privacy of the meeting chambers.

"Father, what is this about?" Sansa asked closing the door behind her, her lord fire stood facing the fire, his face deep in thought and wrinkled with concern.

"I supported Robert in his rebellion, I supported him cutting down the Targaryen's, I hated them for stealing my sister. Then I found out all along she willingly left. But as honor is the very backbone of the Starks, I continued to support Robert as the king. A part of me did not want to see a Targaryen rule again, but I do remember some good Targaryen rulers. Jon, I have seen the Stark Honor that lives within you… that is why I now rally that you should be the king over Stannis Baratheon. You have an Aunt, we have already sent word to her of your lineage asking for support to put a Targaryen back on the throne," Ned turned to look at Jon and Sansa, the only light being the golden glow the orange flames provided, "the one thing they believed drove the mad king was incest. That a lineage of mixing brother and sister, aunts and uncles, cousins…"

"Father?" Sansa asked sort of seeing what he was coming to, "are you asking us to not be together?"

"No," said Jon, finding that ridiculous.

"Yes," said Ned firmly, "the north will not Rally if they think that you have the same illness as your ancestors. Which is why I've arranged marriages for the both of you…"

"What?" Sansa gasped.

"No," Jon protested.

"Enough, silence, both of you," Ned snapped, "it's too late to turn back now. If you don't marry Margaery Tyrell, we won't have the support of the Tyrell's which we will need their army. With them many of the other Southern houses, especially those secretly supporting a Targaryen restoration, will follow. They are on their way now and will be here with in a day or so."

"They?" Sansa asked curiously.

"The arrangement is that you will also marry Sir Loras, the Knight of Roses," Ned said softly not looking at his angry daughter, "your mother already sent them a letter of agreement to these terms in my absence."

"You jest," Sansa said stepping back dizzily, looking at the floor. Jon grabbed her arm to steady her and looked down at her with dangerous eyes.

"We won't wed, not unless its each other," Jon said firmly.

"You don't have a choice Jon," Ned turned his back on him and stared once more at the fire, "I know you love each other, and I hate to cause a wedge between, but the North alone is not enough to take of both Kings Landing, the damned Lannister's, and possibly Stannis who won't be happy about this. There is no turning back, if we lose the support of the North by your wedding, then surely Cersei will wipe out house Stark. Your brothers and sister, will be butchered, Jon strung up and quartered as a spectacle for having opposed the crown… and you Sansa, I fear what would happen to you. At least if you marry Loras you'll be the lady of Highgarden and won't have to watch Jon with another, and Jon won't have to watch you with another. This way you can lead somewhat normal lives. I know this isn't ideal, but I know you have the honor in both of you to do what is best for the realm."

"I can't," Jon said his breath heavy with emotion, unable to look at Sansa.

"You're asking me to not live at all," Sansa said, her eyes filling with tears.

"Sansa," Ned said his brows furrowed in sorrow as he watched her. Sansa looked to Jon and then back again.

"I can't let anything happen to you," Sansa said, deep breaths in her chest, looking at Jon as she backed away. Jon shook his head no in protest, stunned in what was happening.

"Sansa please, you're the one I've waited on, the one I've dreamed of. You are my souls mate. Now, that I know, I can't let you go, don't ask me too. I don't want to lose your love. What can I do?" Jon said desperately as he saw the confusion in her eyes, "what can I do? I can't make you stay… If you should choose to go your own way, and marry another. If that's what you should wish then... wherever you go wherever you turn remember. Remember this moment, remember these words. I will… I will give up my life for you if you want it, give you my heart its yours you already own it, I will do anything, I will go anywhere. I will. I will love you, always."

"I know, that's the problem. I know you would give up your life for me, Jon," Sansa's eyes were wide with horror of the reality in front of them, "but I can't ask you to, I won't let you. This is also bigger than you and I. I can't look up at your head on a spike. I can't watch our family torn apart for my selfishness, not now. It's because I love you, I must let you go…"

"Sansa, no!" Jon yelled angrily but she had already closed the door, her sobs disappearing with her quickly down the hall. Jon let out a yell of anger before grabbing the table and flipping it over, the contents scattering across the floor as the wooden table hit the wall. Jon then hit the wall repeatedly in frustration and anger.

"Why must we always be the ones to sacrifice?!" Jon yelled, resting his head on his arm against the wall.

"Because we are honorable people, and we are selfless when it comes to taking care of those we love. You know I would not ask this much pain of you two, if it were not necessary. I already heard talks in the great hall, rumors were spreading of you two… and they were not nice about it. They were already saying you had the Targaryen sickness. I know cousin marriage is common even for us, but there always going to be those who turn these things into reasons to betray us. Sansa let me escape, she abandoned her fiancé the prince… her punishment will be far greater if we don't win this war. If they ever got their hands on her, with the power of Highgarden backing her… she would be safe. If it makes you feel any better, I've heard rumors of Sir Loras prefers the company of men. He was the consort of Renly rest his soul," Ned tried to speak as softly yet clearly as he could, watching it connect on Jon's face, "I wish it weren't this way."

"Me too," Jon said defeated, "to win means I lose everything."

"To lose everything means you protect the ones you love," Ned said placing a gentle hand on Jon's shoulder, "your mother would be proud."

* * *

Authors note:

I tried to make this chapter nice and a little longer since I made you all wait so long. So sorry. I STARTED ANOTHER STORY. Yeesh now keeping up with three is gunna be a challenge. It's another Sansa and Jon story. Check it out if you're interested.


	7. Chapter 7: The Bigger Picture

Authors note: I saw a review with concern about how Ned could arrange a marriage, technically Catelyn did it in his absence but Ned agrees with Cat that it's the best advantage for them. Instead of her marrying Renly Baratheon like she does in the other universe, this one the marriage is intercepted. Arranged between Olenna who sees that Renly has no claim to the throne so she rejects him as an option in favor for a better more secure option, now that a Targaryen is reaching for the crown. Rumors had spread quickly, on purpose, to arouse any secret Targaryen supporters. Renly had very little support as King, which is why Stannis would have wiped him out eventually, or Cersei would have. Jon has all of the North, and eventually Danny because Ned is getting her attention before she is over ran with the determination to be ruler of Westeros. She has just lost her husband so she will still be in that vulnerable stage… Joffrey and Cersei are doomed and this is obvious to Highgarden.

As for Jon, he is a noble Stark, and will always be, that's why Ned knows that Jon will do as Ned says… because it's the right thing to do for their family. Families can arrange marriages of all ages, Jon can say no, but then he wouldn't be the honorable Jon Snow he was raised to be. Ned raised Jon, he may not be his birth father, but he is a father figure… and he got his noble morals from Ned. I think Jon is more like Ned then Robb is, it's like Jon paid better attention. Robb didn't do the honorable thing, instead he married someone other than one of the Frey's daughters, and a couple other things.

Anyways, thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. I appreciate it, it keeps me motivated to keep going.

 **Chapter 7: Bigger pictures**

Sansa sat in her room, she had been in there for weeks, avoiding her family… avoiding Jon. Soon her betrothed would be there, and she would wed someone she did not love. She briefly remembered Sir Loras in a tournament where he gave her a beautiful rose, but not much more than that. He had gone back to Highgarden, where rumors had spread of an affair between the Highgarden prince and the youngest Baratheon brother of the King, Renly. So this must have meant that he was not interested in women, so what sort of life would she live?

Sansa's delicate fingers plucked at a small white flower. Each petal falling slowly to her bed, her eyes dark and determined as she plucked a petal from its home. She found herself feeling much connected to the flower she held, plucked from its roots, expected to bring joy to others, but withering slowly alone until it wilts into a nothingness. Sansa sighed leaning back into her bed, her back now against the head board. She couldn't get Jon out of her brain… to finally be so close, to be able to have one another. But perhaps it wasn't fated for them, maybe she didn't deserve him. Sure, Loras would be a much better fate then Joffrey, but she still could not stand the idea of being with anyone other than Jon.

"Sansa," a muffled voice came from behind her door after a few taps of a knuckle.

"Jon?" she asked recognizing his voice.

"Can I come in?" Jon asked, looking back and forth, not wanting to be seen out there.

"What is it?" Sansa tried to straighten herself up, tried fixing her messed up hair.

"Please," Jon spoke into the door, his hand resting on it, as if he could feel her.

"Yes," Sansa finally said looking around in panic realizing there wasn't much she could do, she hadn't let anyone in her room in days… not to clean it, not to set up for her to wash, not even to bring her food.

"Sansa," he said closing the door behind him. He saw Sansa sitting at the edge of her bed, her hair hadn't been brushed in days, she wore a sheer white gown she clearly hadn't changed out of in days, her eyes were dark and circles formed showing lack of sleep and food. He pulled out of his shirt a loaf of bread and tried handing it to her, but she looked away not wanting it.

"I can't eat," she said softly.

"You need to eat, you look like a skeleton," Jon tried to tease, laying the bread down on her table, "you need it for your strength, Sansa."

"Is that why you're here?" Sansa asked, still not looking him in the eyes.

"Yes, and no," he took a step towards her but stopped, "I haven't seen you in days."

"No one has," Sansa turned so her back was facing him, "are you here to torture me some more?"

"No," Jon said quickly, "its torture not seeing you…"

"You managed for quite a while at Castle Black," Sansa said hugging her knees.

"It was torture then too, the only difference was you were in the same castle with me," Jon was now behind her, he tried to place a hand on her shoulder but she moved away.

"I can't take anymore," Sansa said, to dehydrated to cry, but her eyes burned, "we have to do what's right Jon."

"They won't be here for days, so why are we pushing each other away now?" Jon asked in confusion, "what have I done to have you hate me so?"

"You've done nothing… except make me fall in love with you. But you're not just a Bastard anymore you are the King of the North, soon to be King of Westeros, you will have to wed for advantage. That's the way it works with Royalty, you marry who your told to. Even though you don't mean to hurt me you keep taring me apart," Sansa finally turning to face him, "your intentions are good, I know this, but I need you to let me go. I can't watch you marry another, I can't watch her bare your children, I can't bear watching someone else fall in love with you…"

"I don't want to watch that either, to marry someone knowing I could never love them, knowing they will never be you… knowing someone else touches you at night, and kisses you in the morning. Knowing they love you and get to have you. I have no doubt he will fall in love with you, how could he not? I don't want to share you with anyone," Jon took her hand and sat down beside her, before she could look away his hand found her chin bringing her face back to him, "what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know," Sansa said conflicted between the right thing and what she really wanted, "but you are the King to be, and I can't be what ruins this. I want to ask for much, but I can't… the bigger picture requires our sacrifices."

"So that's it then," Jon asked holding her hand in his.

"How else can we marry another when we are consumed by one another?" Sansa asked searching his eyes for answers.

"I don't know either," Jon said looking down at their entwined hands.

"We have to leave our love behind, Jon, somehow," Sansa said sadly, "we must close our hearts."

"I've closed mine for so long," Jon said using his thumb to stroke her hand, "it feels like I've been searching for eternity and like finally things are right."

"Same for me," Sansa said looking down at their hands as well. She then looked back up his eyes piercing hers.

"So then this is goodbye?" Jon asked with a great sadness in his heart.

"I think it has to be," Sansa said softly. For a minute they sat there, eyes locked on one another, as if it were the last time they would be together. She finally leaned forward laying her lips gently on his. Finally, her lips left his, and she knew that would be the last kiss they would share. Sansa's heart shattered into a million pieces, "good bye, Jon Snow."

"Good bye, Sansa Stark," Jon could not look her in the eyes anymore, it was too painful.

"From this moment on we go back to when we were pretend brother and sister," Sansa watched Jon's face, trying to remember it.

"Aye, your right," Jon then stood up and walked to her door. He stopped, holding the handle of the door, "please, eat Sansa."

"I will," she said softly. Jon nodded, giving a soft fake smile before leaving her room. Jon leaned against the door, afraid to move… afraid of what it meant. Afraid to do what he knew he had to do. He just wanted to be near her, he knew he was crazy, but he knew that they were doing what was best for the world. Jon had seen some crazy things in the many months he spent at the Nights Watch, even seeing a white walker… he knew that his shattered heart was nothing compared to what would happen if they didn't build an army to take on the dead.

Slowly, Jon peeled himself off of her door… tucked away his heart, and walked back to attend to some of his duties. Sansa on the other hand, she cried, she cried with dry eyes and a dry mouth as she finally sipped at some water and ate the bread Jon left behind. Sansa had to let it go, but first she had to cry out her emotions so she could become hard and cold. After another day in her room, she finally emerged letting others into her room. Catelyn was relieved, worried over her daughter's absence. Sansa assured her mother she would be fine, she wanted to be in the stabled with the horses.

They were now preparing for the arrival of the Tyrell's company, the whole castle in Winterfell was buzzing with life as they hung curtains and lit chandeliers. They hung beautiful fixtures of maroon and gold, while Sansa was fitted with several different dresses. Thankfully the weather was still somewhat desirably warm, allowing for the gardens to blossom and be turned into a paradise. They knew the Tyrells love for flowers, and wanted to accommodate, Ned spent a lot of his time in his studies, randomly conversing with Robb and Jon, filling them in on his ideas for how to take Kings landing. Jon would soon be returning to the wall to do some more work, he constantly in the meantime recruited men to serve up there while he was gone.

It was finally time, the trumpets sounding, beautiful music accompanying the arrival of the Tyrells. Sansa stood beside her sister and younger brothers, while Jon and Robb took position with their Lord Father (and uncle). The whole castle stood in wait for the arrival of the Highgarden royals to make their presence. Finally, they all had arrived, Loras was first riding up valiantly on his white mare. He dismounted before helping his sister out of her carriage.

"Milady, Sansa," Loras was quick to greet his soon to be wife, taking her hand in his and kissing it, "it's a pleasure to set eyes on you once more."

"Milord," Sansa curtsied, her hand still in his hand. He was more handsome then she remembered, his hair a little shorter and his body broader. She smiled as convincing smile as she could. She felt like a little girl again, for some reason he made her feel like her child like self, "it's with great joy to see you again."

"The pleasure is all mine," Loras smiled at her, he bent his arm into a loop, meant for her to take hold. She looked over to Jon and Robb who were talking with the Lady Margaery, she then looked back at Loras and took his arm. Together they walked past Jon, who glanced up, unhappy to see her with another… even more unhappy to see he was young and handsome. He could not deny Margaery was beautiful, tempting even, but she was no Sansa to him… he could not give her his heart and for a moment he felt sorry for the beautiful Tyrell woman.

"Would you like a view of the castle?" Sansa asked hesitantly, "I'm sure it's nothing compared to Highgarden…"

"I'd be charmed, truly," Loras smiled at her genuinely that Sansa almost felt a flicker of warmth for him. A part of her felt bad that he would be marrying someone not a maiden, but would he even really care… would he even find himself in her bed chambers to know whether she was or wasn't. Would he even know what a virgin was like? Had he been with any woman. She found herself full of questions.

"It would be my pleasure to show you then," Sansa said taking his arm to walk him around the castle, the castle grounds, and the gardens of Winterfell. They talked, and caught up on events since they had last seen each other.

"I must admit I do find you charming," Loras said with a smile as they sat down on a bench, "I thought I would find you boring and childish, but you are the opposite."

"Thank you," Sansa said unsure how to respond to that, "I have questions…"

"I pray I have answers," Loras patted her hand as he watched her face.

"I just do not want any offense to be taken by these questions," Sansa said biting her lip, tension building in her body.

"Oh," Loras then knew what questions she would have, "please ask…"

"I've heard," Sansa tried to think of a way to explain it.

"About Lord Renly and myself?" Loras asked, his smile fading.

"I hope I haven't offended or crossed a line," Sansa asked about to stand up, but he grabbed her hand pulling her back down.

"I take no offense," Loras said softly, "may I speak candidly without ill thought?"

"Of course milord," Sansa smiled at him, her eyes softening, he could see that he could trust her.

"I loved Lord Renly, it Is true. I have… an appetite for both. I do find women equally attractive. I find you very attractive as well, so you do not have to worry about being in a passionless marriage," Loras said, looking into her eyes. She could see his sincerity and this made her feel both uncomfortable and relieved.

"Thank you for being so honest," Sansa smiled, "I find you attractive as well."

"We will make beautiful children," Loras smiled back at her. He stood up and helped her to feet, "seeing as it was not myself who asked, I would like to officially ask for your hand in marriage. Will you Sansa Stark Lady of Winterfell, be my wife, and Lady of Highgarden?"

"Yes," Sansa had paused before answering, she didn't have much choice to begin with, "I accept your proposal sir."

"You've made me happy," Loras said pulling her into his arms for an embrace. The sound of laughter entered the garden as Margaery and Jon walked into the beautifully lit garden, seeing Sansa and Loras in an embrace. Jon felt something in him rise, but he could not act out… especially not with his betrothed beside him.

"Loras, my brother," Margaery laughed such a whimsical laugh as she introduced Jon to her brother.

"Margaery, this is my bride to be Sansa," Loras said introducing the two, she had not had the opportunity yet to really meet Margaery. The Highgarden's jewel wore such a low cut dress of fine silks that Sansa found herself feeling quite inadequate in her cotton dress of green and brown, "doesn't this beautiful green dress compliment my loves beautiful fire like hair?"

"Of course," Margaery smiled, Jon looked away sighing, obviously feeling like Loras was laying it on thick, "she will make a beautiful bride for you Loras."

"Thank you, milady," Sansa said weakly, looking at the floor before her eyes darted up to look at Jon for a moment.

"So this must be Jon, the Targaryen?" Loras asked with intrigue.

"Aye, that would be me," Jon said giving a fake smile as he took Loras' hand in his to shake it.

"I've heard great things about your swordsmanship, perhaps we shall have a duel one of these fine days," Loras said with a big smile, Jon could see now that Loras over flowed with confidence.

"I'd love nothing more than that," Jon said wickedly, a small flicker of a smile tracing his lips.

"We shall set a date then," Loras smiled looking between the group, "I have a gift for you, my lady."

"Oh," Sansa said with surprise.

"It's being presented in your room, for when you're ready. I hope you'd do me the honor to wear one tonight," Loras said smiling, "the other I will present to you tonight at the feast."

"You are to kind," Sansa said biting her lip trying to hold back an awkward smile. Jon was there, and all she wanted was to jump him there in front of the world, to wrap her arms around him and kiss him.

"You should know, you will never be alone again," Loras kissed her hand, "I will do everything to make sure you are always happy."

"That's so sweet, Loras," Margaery smiled wrapping her arm through Jon's and looking up at him, hoping for sweet words from him as well. He just gave her a fake smile and looked away, "don't they make a fine couple?"

"Aye, fine," Jon practically growled.

"I need to get ready, for the feast," Sansa said awkwardly.

"I'll see you to your room," Loras said smiling at the others, "til tonight…"

"Yes brother," Margaery said patting her brothers hand. Jon just nodded. Loras walked Sansa back to her room where he kissed her hand and spoke of how he looked forward to seeing her. Sansa closed her door, her breaths growing heavy with panic as she rested her head against the cold door. What had just happened? Sansa saw several beautifully wrapped boxes that looked extravagant. Sansa walked forward gently running her fingers across them before picking one and lifting the lid. Sansa gasped as she pulled from the box a beautiful dress of green and rich gold. Sansa felt something uneasy in her stomach, a queasiness that she wondered if it was from not eating for as long as she had. Sansa dropped the beautiful gown grabbing for some sort of basket as the contents of her stomach came flushing out from within her. Sansa decided it would be wise to make a trip to see one of the nurses to make sure she wasn't really sick.

When Sansa got back to her room she was surprised to find several people waiting for her, to do her hair and help her get ready. They were clearly from Highgarden by the way they dressed. Sansa smiled letting them help her into the beautiful dress. She looked at herself in the mirror for a while, the beautiful green dress had a huge dip in the chest almost all the way down to her bellybutton, at that point it split into sort of a skirt so that all of her back was exposed. Attached to the upper straps of the gown were loose sleeves that flowed down, three gold bands going down her open sleeves. A sheer gold lace cape like piece flowed behind her.

She had never looked more like a woman to herself then at that moment, her cleavage was showing more than her father ever would allow, yet not much covered her. A gold hand holding around her waist keeping the bottom half of the dress attached to the sheer front piece. The bottom of the skirt had climbing gold roses. Sansa observed what they had done to her face, she never wore make up but a few times in Kings Landing. A dark smoke around her eyes and a moist gold kept her lips moist. Her cheeks stuck a flushed pink. Who was this person standing in front of her, was this who she would need to be in Highgarden? She couldn't deny she felt beautiful, but she also felt slightly naked, like one small step and the whole thing would collapse.

Sansa sighed before taking a final glance and leaving her room. They had started the feast early; the sun had barely started setting as she entered the room. Silence filled the air as they looked at her, everyone, lords and ladies from around the North who came to visit their newest allies and support their king. Sansa swallowed nervously, people's mouths dropped open, the Jewel of the North was shining brighter than she ever had. Her womanly body clearly stirring the men and making other women jealous. Ned stared in confusion at his daughter, Catelyn's hand over her mouth as Sansa slowly made her way to the table.

"You look radiant," Loras smiled big as he stood up to take his fiancée. She smiled at him before looking to her family.

"You need to put some clothes on young lady," Catelyn said finally removing her hand from her surprised mouth.

"It was a gift, from my husband to be," Sansa said looking at her mother with dark eyes. Catelyn looked from Sansa to Loras, and then to Margaery who wore something similar, but less extravagant.

"You look like a goddess," Loras said in awe of the beautiful red headed woman. Her hair was braided beautifully to the side with gems gliding gracefully down the braid, "you have been known as the Jewel of the North, but now you will be the Jewel of Highgarden. I could not ask for a more stunning wife by my side. For my second gift to you… a symbol of our love."

"Loras," Sansa gasped quietly as he pulled out a beautiful ring. A gold and white gold combo of the rose symbol of high garden and a beautiful large stone set inside of it. Sansa was speechless she tried to mutter a few words.

"I thank you for accepting my proposal," Loras said kissing her hand above the beautiful ring, "it is the symbol of the house you will rule."

"Your too kind my lord," Sansa said taking a seat as Loras pushed the chair in so she could sit. Jon stabbed at his food, his eyes constantly on Sansa and not on the beautiful girl who was chatting his ear off beside him. He spent the night watching Sansa and Loras unable to concentrate on those talking to him. Sansa got up to go use the restroom when Jon quickly excused himself to follow her.

"Sansa," Jon called as he chased her down the hall, she had been moving rather swiftly.

"Jon, not now," Sansa said hurrying to a nearby chamber.

"Sansa?" Jon asked as he watched her grab a bowl and throw up into it, "are you alright?"

"No, I'm not," Sansa said angrily as she dabbed at her mouth. Jon was to her side his hand on her back the other hand under her chin.

"You shouldn't have gone so long without eating," Jon said looking into her watery eyes.

"That's not it," she said standing up straight and steadying herself. Jon's eyes grew with concern, "I'm pregnant, Jon."

"How can you know that?" Jon asked hurriedly stunned by what she said.

"I don't know for sure, but its what the town nurse thinks. She said symptoms are a bit soon, but that stress can make symptoms show up sooner. I should have bled, but I haven't. I don't know what I am going to do Jon, how can I pretend to be a maiden and be pregnant?" Sansa broke into tears.

"Oh Gods," Jon took her into his arms, feeling her body shake against him, and for a moment he hated himself for doing this to her… his biggest fear biting him in the arse.

"The only solution, is to sleep with Loras before we wed and hope he thinks it's his," Sansa sobbed into his chest.

"What?" Jon asked surprised stepping back to look at her, "No, I can't let some other man father my child…"

"What other choice do we have Jon?" Sansa sobbed, "I doubt any man would be reasonable and understanding enough to willingly marry me now…"

"Then tell him, and then you don't have to marry," Jon said with a smile as he grabbed her hand, "he doesn't need to know who, just that you are with child. That will get you out of this marriage…"

"And what if I don't want out of this marriage?" Sansa asked pulling her hands from his as she backed away angrily.

"Sansa, what are you saying?" Jon was stunned once more by her words.

"You are marrying Margaery… why should I stay here and watch this? If I marry Loras, I can leave and lick my wounds elsewhere," Sansa said storming out of there leaving a stunned Jon to process what she had told him. A part of him hoped that this would mean he could talk Ned into postponing both marriages, he had to, so this was what Jon would do.

Authors note: I hope that was good enough to last a couple days. I have a wedding to photograph this week that's my best friends so in the mean while encourage other friends to read and review to get me pumped up for the next chapter. What will happen. What will Ned say. Will Sansa tell Loras? Or will she try and take matters into her own hands to rid herself of the problem? Uh oh!


	8. Chapter 8: All That Was Lost

Authors note: For the readers with only negative comments and complaints about characters or ideas etd... Maybe I haven't mentioned this in my previous chapters like I have with my other stories, but my story my way my show my monkeys. You want a story the way you want it… then you write it that way. Jon and Sansa are different because they spent longer at home than they did in the original series. This is the show version, I am not George Martin, I don't pretend to be nor do I pretend to possess his writing skills and imagination. I write while I am at work, have awake, and things just pop into my mind. I don't plan it out, I don't go over it, because I don't have time for that. Plenty of amazing writers out there who do have the time for that, so if that bothers you then go look for one of their stories cause you won't find that here.

Moving on,

Thank you to the wonderful reviewers with actual kind words and encouragement. IF YOU HAVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISM please share kindly, and offer ways to correct things. Thanks.

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 **Chapter 8: All that's Lost**

Sansa spent a lot of time trying to get to know Loras better, Jon was busy with Ned and Robb preparing for the young Dragon queens arrival. They wanted to have a solid strategy to win her to their side, and Jon was hoping he could learn more about his other family from his aunt. Jon welcomed the distraction from his thoughts, the sword and battles were what Jon was good at… it was the best distraction for him. He thought of Sansa often, but the more space he had from her the easier it became. He couldn't afford to lose himself anymore, it was time to stop being a boy and to become a man. Margaery came between meetings with Jon, and spending time with Loras and Sansa. She had a hard time telling how much game the Tyrell's were playing, Loras was too good to be true and so was Margaery. Many compared Sansa to Margaery, she was unique to them, and some fawned over her more than Sansa leaving her jealous. She hadn't realized she had become so vain of the attention she received since she had grown into a woman. Margaery was more than beautiful, she was charming and charismatic to Sansa's quite submissive demeanor. She knew that the North was falling in love with the beautiful Highgarden maiden… she feared they would not miss Sansa when she would leave.

Sansa tried to hide her morning sickness as much as possible, but it was becoming harder with each passing day. A guilt took over her, a part of her wished the child would just disappear. Every day with Loras gave Sansa a strange sense of protection, but she also wondered when it would all cave in. Jon was constantly on her mind, but she knew that she was only torturing herself so she decided to put the extra time into practice with her siblings on combat. Normally Ned and Catelyn were not keen on their daughters playing with swords and bows, but if what Jon told them of the wall was true then they couldn't take any chances their children not being prepared.

The air in the north began to fill with a cold that froze the ground making it sleek. It made Sansa's usual rides less frequent. She missed the distraction, but she managed to find plenty else to do in between. She disliked that she had to sit on the sidelines while others determined how to best protect them all. It was a particularly cold morning when Sansa bundled up to go ride with Bran and Arya, hoping to leave behind the Tyrell guest who were not accustomed to such weather. The Stark children saddled their horses and headed onto their ride, sending their dire wolves ahead to scout.

"Can we shoot something today, Sansa?" Bran asked trotting beside his sister. Arya laughed making Bran throw a nasty look her way, he was not good with a bow and arrow, but Sansa promised him with time he would get better. Sansa was decent with a bow, but she was clumsy with a sword. She knew if it came to one on one combat she would fail. Arya seemed to excel quite quickly, leaving Sansa secretly jealous of her rebellious sister.

"You could try," Arya chuckled.

"Arya," Sansa snapped.

"I'll shoot you then," Bran scowled throwing an arrow at her from his quiver. Arya just laughed harder as they rode through the gates of the city out towards the Northern woods.

"You two behave or we can go back," Sansa warned, her hands shaking in her gloves, she hoped she had good grip on her reins. Thankfully she trusted her mare, they knew each other well. Arya rode a little brown mare that was rather shaggy compared to Sansa's unique horse. Bran rode a little painted horse of brown and white, Bran was getting taller which meant he would need to upgrade to a new horse soon as his favorite little steed was too small for him. Sansa had nagged at him to let her take him shopping for a new horse, but he always said he was fine with his Rascal. She could never argue further with him, but even now Bran could see his precious childhood horse was becoming uncomfortable carrying him and he would need to retire him.

"Yes Sansa," Bran said obediently, but Arya just laughed.

"Why can't you do as your told, ever, Arya?" Sansa asked with attitude.

"Because you're not my mother, Sansa," she replied snidely.

"You need to grow up and be a lady," Sansa didn't want to argue anymore. _Will I have a girl, will she be like Arya or a boy… will he be like Bran? Will they irritate me like Arya? What will he or she look like._ Sansa was caught in her own thoughts for quite awhile, _will they have red hair or dark hair, curls? His dark eyes or my light eyes. Will they be quiet and broody like_ _ **him**_ _or will they be obnoxious like Arya, or sweet like Bran, loving like Rickon, passionate and friendly like Robb? Will they be brave and strong like Jon, will they be scared and weak like me?_

"Hello, earth to Sansa," Arya said pushing her sisters arm, "I see something behind those trees over there."

"Where?" Sansa asked breaking from her thoughts, she didn't realize how far they had wondered. Sansa saw some movement in the distance.

"Is it a deer? Can we shoot it, please Sansa, can we?" Bran asked perking up, ready to try and show up his little sister.

"Let's find something smaller, we shouldn't kill what we won't eat or use," Sansa tried to be sensible, she wasn't planning to carry any carcasses back with her, "look for birds and squirrels."

"Alright," Bran sighed. But Arya as usual ignored Sansa's instructions and took off at a full gallop heading towards her hunt.

"Damn it Arya! Come back!" Sansa tried yelling before clicking at her horse and tapping her. Bran was behind Sansa, his horse slow and unable to keep up with the other.

"Sansa! Wait!" Bran yelled from behind, they had quite a distance between them. Sansa pulled back on reins and asked her horse to stop, her horse slid to a stop. Sansa scanned the forest as she watched Arya leave sight. _Damn you Arya,_ she thought trying to find which way she was going. Bran finally galloped up to his sister, his horse deep in breath. Both were surprised to hear a scream in the distance.

"No… Arya!" Sansa yelled kicking her horse frantically making her horse buck out slightly but then took off full sprint leaving Bran to try and keep up once more. Sansa pushed her horse hard through the slick forest, grateful to her horse's strong structure and ability to handle to the icy ground unlike most. Arya was nowhere to be found. A panic filled Sansa, a fear… had something gotten her. Then she heard them and saw them, the dire wolves as a pack running in one direction and she knew that Nymeria was picking up Arya's sent. She quickly veered in their direction her heart racing inside of her chest as she raced along through the trees. Sansa heard Bran yelling in the back, and the sound of dire wolves growling and tearing at something.

"Sansa!" Arya screamed, and there she saw Arya and her horse pinned into a corner of narrow trees by a group of strange men. From a glance of their armor they were either bandits or Lannister spies. The men were trying to fight off the wolves who tore at them.

"Arya, this way!" Sansa hollered grabbing her bow and arrow and shooting at the ones heading towards her. She missed the first couple shots but finally hit one of them in the arm, leaving him hollering in anger. Arya took the advantage to push her horse through them. Sansa heard one of the men yell at the others to catch them while he took care of the wolves.

"Sansa!" Bran called breathlessly catching up.

"Bran head home! Lady! Summer!" Sansa called as Arya's horse rushed passed her heading home, Bran following at her tail. Sansa turned her horse on her heels and gave her some more taps to go full speed as quickly as they could, the wolves now on their tales. Bran was starting to fall behind again as Sansa began to pass him, she could see the fear on Bran's face as the others had climbed their horses to engage in a chase. Sansa could see that Bran's little steed was giving his all, its face dripping with sweat and ears pinned back as it reached and stretched to cover as much ground as possible. She hated doing it, but she needed the horse to push harder, "Lady! Lady get Bran! Get his horse!"

"Sansa!" he hollered scared as Lady began to nip at the horse's hocks making the poor beast push harder than it was capable of. She could hear the men catching up on them, gaining ground quickly. If she didn't have to keep up with Bran and have her horse slow, she could have outrun them, but his horse was fading fast. Before Sansa could react she heard Bran yell as his horse slipped and fell down a small cliff. Arya tried to stop her horse and turn around.

"Arya, No! GO HOME!" She yelled watching a terrified Arya look between her and home. Sansa pulled the reins of her horse to go down the steep hill where Bran lay at the bottom with his horse on his legs. Bran was unconscious as the horse tried repeatedly to get up. Sansa could hear the men at the top of the cliff as her horse tried to keep its balance as she slid through the slick ground, Sansa tried hard to sit in her seat as they pointed straight down, praying they wouldn't fall. She would never push her horse to run up or down this kind of dangerous cliff, but she had to get to her brother.

"Bran!" Sansa called finally reaching the bottom of the cliff. She quickly jumped off her horse and helped unhook Bran's leg from the stirrup it was stuck in, his pony now standing up but clearly hurt. Sansa knew there was nothing she could do for the horse so she smacked his rear hoping he would find his way home, it looked like he was heading in the right direction. She quickly grabbed Bran lifting him up onto her horse before climbing behind him.

"Sansa," he moaned groggily, not fully aware.

"It's okay Bran, I'm here, your safe now," Sansa snapped the reins letting her horse go full speed when she felt it. The men had not pursued her down the hill, but one of them had shot an arrow… she felt a strange burn through her back and stomach, glancing down to see the arrow head emerge from her abdomen and slightly digging into Bran's back. Sansa grabbed the horn in front of her and Bran to balance herself, holding the reins in her free hand… it took all of her strength to stay up and awake. Shock and adrenaline was what kept her moving, aware, and alive, "Lady!"

"Lady! Home!" Sansa yelled, feeling something warm building in her throat making it hard to breath. She saw Lady and Summer break through the woods full sprint and run in front of them, their large paws ripping at the earth as they dragged themselves home. Sansa didn't know that part of the woods as it was off the normal paths. She found herself wanting to drift off by the time they finally found the edge of the forest leading home. A bright light appeared showing Sansa that they were finally leaving the forest, and before her she could see horses running her way. The large black stallion Jon rode carried her love towards her, and beside him a white stallion carrying her husband to be. Behind them was Robb, Ned, and some of their soldiers.

"Sansa!" Jon yelled as his horse finally reached hers, he spun his horse around so he could grab the reins as Sansa slowly started drifting off. Robb and Ned followed the others into the woods, Robb's large dire wolf leading them to where Arya said the camp was. Jon rode beside Sansa, Loras finally on her other side, as they kept her in her seat until they were back in front of the castle of Winterfell. Jon dismounted pulling Sansa into his arms, "grab Bran!"

"Of course," Loras said taking the young boy as they all rushed to the medics.

Sansa couldn't remember much, bits and pieces as she began to go in and out. Jon was there holding her hand until Loras came in, Loras had joined Ned and Robb when they returned. Jon kept trying to talk to her as her eyes would open, but everything was dim and her ears rang so badly she couldn't hear anything. Margaery eventually came to sit in support of her husband to be, whispering him promises of his cousin's health. Sansa spent three days' unconscious in the medical chambers being cared for day and night, wondering if she would come through or if she would die. When she finally woke up she talked to the nurse about Bran and about her own injuries.

"Sansa," Jon walked in looking around to make sure no one was there. Closing the door quietly behind him, he then sat beside her, taking her hand. He could see a deep pain behind her eyes.

"I hurt him," Sansa bit her lip as her eyes burned with a tingle, tears pricking threats of escape, "he may never walk again…"

"Sansa, it's not your fault," Jon said softly, his dark eyes on her, his face not giving away to the pure panic he felt.

"They say that he has a bunch of puncture marks on his back from the arrow," Sansa turned her head away from him, her red hair still caked with mud and blood, and her pale skin bruised.

"The arrow was lodged through you, you saved his life. It was the motion of the horse that the head got him. Those are superficial wounds, Sansa, it's the fall with his horse that damaged him," Jon squeezed her hand. He wished he hadn't kept his distance, thinking he could have protected him if he hadn't thrown himself into work.

"It tore off the skin on Bran's back," Sansa placed her free hand over her mouth and nose, "each time I leaned forward it would stab him. And… and the baby…"

"I know," Jon said trying to keep his face as still as possible.

"How?" Sansa couldn't look at him.

"I heard whispers between the nurses," Jon looked down at the bed, "I promise I will get you justice. You, Bran, and…"

"I'm horrible," Sansa sobbed pulling her hand from Jon's so she could cover her face, "I wished the child would disappear. But I didn't want this…"

"Sansa, I am sorry," he said placing his hand at his eye brows. He hated seeing her suffer.

"I should have died," Sansa sobbed wishing she could have walked away, "why did you tell them to let me go…"

"That was not an option Sansa," Jon grew angry with her words, "this isn't you. You are not that weak…"

"Weak? To want to have left this world with my unborn child? The one I wished away…" Sansa growled, and anger inside of her.

"I am sorry I did this to you," Jon sighed feeling full of regret.

"It's too late, it's done," Sansa looked out the window now. A tap at the door finally breaking their silence. Loras peeked his head in catching them off guard.

"May I come in?" Loras asked looking at Sansa.

"Yes, Jon was just leaving," Sansa refused to look at Jon who sat there for a minute watching her. He then nodded and smiled a sarcastic angry smirk before shaking his head, he then stood up trying to think of something to say before just walking out.

"How are you feeling?" Loras asked sitting beside her, "you are sight for sore eyes."

"You don't have to flatter me, I look hideous," Sansa didn't realize she was taking her anger out on the Knight of Flowers.

"You do not look hideous, Sansa, you look like a warrior," he said not letting her words affect him. For a moment Sansa felt a strange affection for Loras, and grateful he was there instead of Jon. For some reason she felt an anger with Jon, almost a hatred.

"You are too kind," Sansa managed to muster up some strength to be courteous.

"I need you to get well, milady," Loras took her hand in his, "we have a wedding to plan."

"Of course," Sansa tried to be her usual obedient self, "my brother Bran… any news?"

"They are not sure if he will walk again, but there is a small chance he can learn to," Loras said smiling at her weakly, she appreciated his effort.

"Can I make a request of you," Sansa asked. He nodded kissing her hand. She tried to move herself to get more comfortable but felt the most painful fire rip through her torso and through her body making her whimper. Loras quickly bent towards her stroking her hair, "can we stay for a while and help my brother regain use of his legs?"

"If that is what you wish," Loras said kissing her hands once more. Sansa spent several weeks recovering until finally with the help of others she was walking around in short bursts. One of the nurses was helping her when she ran into Jon, who had not visited her again since his last visit.

"Sansa," he said, stun taking him over. He was glad to see her out and about, hoping she had a zest for life again.

"Jon," Sansa nodded, and then began to try and walk past him.

"Can I speak with Lady Sansa alone for a moment?" Jon asked turning around to see her standing there silently. The nurse bowed and walked down the hall.

"Jon," Sansa tried to protest.

"Sansa," Jon said grabbing her elbow trying to steady her, "are you okay?"

"I am starting to be okay," she said looking up into his dark eyes, she reached up to touch his face but paused half way before gently touching on of his loose curls and then dropping her hand. Tears pooled in her eyes, "I was until now…"

"Sansa I'm sorry," he said touching her face. Sansa pulled away, "I don't understand…"

"I can't, Jon, not just because we are to marry others… but for the fact I can't look at you anymore and not see her face," Sansa bit her lip to stop it from shaking.

"Her?" Jon was even more confused.

"Or Him… I'll never know. Would he have your curls, would she have my red hair, would she have your dark eyes? Would he be brave like you, strong like you, beautiful… like you…"?

"Sansa, please," Jon could sense where she was heading with this and panic grew deep in his chest, constricting him.

"I don't know if I feel anything anymore now," Sansa let a tear loose, "I can't look at you and not wonder about what I lost…"

"Sansa, we can come back from this," Jon tried to reason with her.

"I choose Loras," Sansa took her arm and grabbed the wall to steady herself, her other hand resting where the baby once grew.

"I'm leaving, in two days, there is a camp of Lannister's several leagues away, your ran into their scouts looking to check the strength of Winterfell," Jon looked at the ground now, his face pale from the reality of what was happening, "we are going to show them how strong the North is. If I don't see you before then, I wish you well…"

"Be safe," Sansa said her hand still covering over her wound, "the North needs you…"

"Aye, 'I'll try," Jon nodded before walking past her towards the Lords Chambers. Sansa stood there for a moment before looking back behind her to watch him disappear. Once he was out of sight she leaned against the wall, letting her sobs out as she cried into the wall. Her nurse came running to her, grabbing her arm.

"My lady, are you in pain?" the nurse panicked.

"It hurts, it all hurts," Sansa sobbed before letting the nurse take her back to her room. Finally, in her own room she was able to cry alone, a room that reminded her of Jon… and what she lost.

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Authors note:

Well for those who may feel Jon is jealous and out of control, and Sansa is similar... I write my stuff the way I write it. I needed them to get so head deep they realized how destructive their selfishness was. So that they could face a tougher obstacle... so that when they come together again it will be after some growth.


	9. Chapter 9: Broken not lost

**Authors note** : here is quick chapter, I promise Monday I will have more. This was as much as I could get done while I have internet access.

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 **Chapter 9: Broken not lost**

Jon paced irritating Robb and Ned, they knew that Jon had been frustrated for days but nothing anyone could say seemed to ease Jon's mood. They had to plan for the never-ending swarms of Lannister's trying to wipe them out. Jon had not heard or seen from Sansa in many days, not since they talked last, not since she told him she didn't want to see him. How could love hurt so much? All he wanted was for Sansa to be happy, and he wanted her to be happy with him.

"We've received word from the wall," Robb said trying to get Jon's attention.

"Aye? About?" Jon continued pacing.

"There has been some strange reports, and they are requesting more men as men are disappearing," Robb looked down at the paper.

"This couldn't be a worst time, not if we ever plan to march on Kings landing," Ned rubbed his forehead trying to relieve pain that the stress was causing, "the longer we give Cersei to plot our demise, the worst things get. Our numbers are getting smaller with each attack the Lannister's orchestrate."

"I'll go," Jon said quickly, his pacing now stopping. He needed to get away, he needed to not be so close to Sansa knowing she was there and worst, knowing another comforted her. As the days passed by he began to ignore Maergery more and more, his obvious dissatisfaction growing more apparent. It did not matter how often he was reminded of her beauty, nor how many times she tried to sneak into his bed chambers to persuade him. The more hopeless he grew with Sansa, the more fuel he felt for battle. The adrenaline, the rush of life or death, it was the only thing that could keep Jon from melting like Snow.

"We need you here," Ned said firmly, "you are the face of what we fight for. Your legitimacy and your claim rides on you being here to take it."

"I know this, but I also owe a debt to my brothers," Jon said seriously, "I can't let them keep fighting the wildlings alone… and I know what is out there. I must find out what is happening. I promise not more than a month."

"What of your new bride to be?" Ned asked reminding him of his other duties.

"I could keep her company," Robb joked making Theon laugh beside him.

"Enough," Ned raised his voice, he was not finding the same humor as the younger men, "do you all take battle so lightly? Do you see war as just a game? Grow up, boys."

"Sorry Father," Robb said quickly lowering his head as his father walked to the fireplace in thought.

"You have a couple weeks," Ned sighed knowing that Jon was going to go one way or another, he had a mind of his own much like Jon's mother… like Lyanna.

"I will be back before you know it," Jon said knowing he would need to ride hard and fast to make it in time to be of any help, "will we be able to spare any men?"

"I will send some behind you," Ned did not look at Jon but remained silent ending the conversation.

"Thank you, _uncle_ ," Jon hesitated before saying the last word, he had never acknowledged him as anything other a father even though he knew he was not biologically so.

"You should hurry and pack, do not let anything hold back your time," Ned continued to look into the fire as if hoping for some sort of guidance. Worry was deeply etched in his wrinkles and the lines of his face. Jon quickly exited leaving just the other three men.

"What else has you worried?" Robb asked his father, but he did not move.

"I wrote to Stannis and to Renly explaining what is going on and asking that they join our cause," Ned sighed.

"And?"

"Stannis agreed to let us keep the North but he wants Kings Landing. He has offered to split with us," Ned sighed, "Renly has offered Cersei his hand in marriage to help her keep her hold on her claim."

"But Stannis will help us?" Robb stood up feeling the nerves within him as he heard the news.

"Aye," Ned turned to look at his eldest son, "but Renly has a rather large following himself."

"But we have the Tyrells," Theon finally spoke up.

"We have a fair fight once Jon's aunt arrives, assuming Jon doesn't ruin this alliance with the Tyrells," Ned said nodding, "but this will be bloody none the less."

"We need to start pushing back, show them the strength of the North," Robb spoke passionately, "we need to start taking some of the Lannister's fronts and over throwing their allies."

"I fear your right, son," Ned sat down and took a drink from his goblet, "war is upon us, her icy breath now licks at our necks. Where she goes, her lover death follows."

* * *

Sansa had managed to escape the many prying eyes of her nurses, and Loras himself. She appreciated his comfort but she was feeling smothered. The stables were the one place she felt most at home, with her sweet mare. The sound of soft nickers and tail swishes, the greetings from soft muzzles. She brushed her beautiful dapple gray mare until Sephira shined like a diamond. Sansa placed a hand on her stomach the wound still hurt but not more then what she had lost from it. Sephira reached over nudging her making Sansa laugh before she rubbed her forelock and walked her back to her stall where she was surprised to see Jon standing.

"I thought I'd find you here," he said softly, he was dressed in all black as usual but he had a large pack with him.

"You were looking for me?" she asked hesitantly. She couldn't deny she had dreamed of his face every night. She had wanted him to hold her when she would wake from a nightmare, but she knew that it would not be possible.

"Aye, I was," he said still leaning against the door to her horse's stall.

"Why?" she asked breathlessly, looking at the ground to avoid his gaze.

"I wanted to say goodbye," he finally moved off the door and walked towards her.

"Your leaving?" she asked stunned. He could see on her face that she was worried, and a brief glimmer of hope rose inside of him.

"I just can't stay near you, knowing I can't be with you, I belong on a battlefield. I am going back for a little while to help my brothers at the nights watch," he could see she didn't know how to respond to him, her hand resting on her injury and he could feel the pain she felt. He stepped another step towards her, " **BUT** I'm sorry for the pain I caused you and…"

"Jon," she tried to protest finally looking back up at him.

"You don't need to say anything, Sansa, just let me say what I need to say," he was now a breath away from her, his hand reaching up to hold her face, "I'll be back. You should know, I will never give up. I will fight for you, Sansa Stark. Hear me now, for I will not let you go so easily."

"Jon," she stuttered surprised by his words.

"I will be back for you," he said kissing her on her forehead, and then he walked away leaving her stunned at what just happened. She wordlessly watched him mount his saddle and ride away towards the wall. She at that moment regretted not telling him how much she loved him, because out there he could die any day.


	10. Chapter 10:Flightless Dove-Redone

RE-DO READVISED LESS BRUTAL AND MINUS THE MOST AWFUL PARTS.

AN: PLEASE READ so I decided to redo this chapter as it haunts me and that's why I cant seem to write a new chapter, cause I had been going back and fourth about rewriting it or deleting it all together. So I decided I would just re-do it so it isn't as brutal. I removed the rape, but I still wanted the interaction with Ramsay as its a large part of how Sansa becomes who she does. Jon battling with Ramsay for Sansa, and the whole thing. The whole point of this story is even though they evaded the outcome of their situation by waiting several years, becoming wiser and changing, that the events will still catch up to them, but will play out differently and have different out comes. I am debating on if one Stark should still die... I wouldn't be sad seeing Catelyn die, but what do you think. Let's take a vote... no deaths of the Winterfell crew? Or who should meet death if anyone should?

* * *

Chapter 10: Flightless dove

Sansa spent many days praying to the maiden for protection for Jon, as each day went on her wound scabbed over and began to heal into what would become a scar. Her heart was not so easily healed, and with Jon gone for nearly two months now, she began to feel hopeless. She could no longer hide these feelings from Loras who every day proved his patience with her. She tried to find comfort in her soon to be husband, even though he began to pressure her for a date to plan their wedding, and she was running out of excuses.

The rest of her days she spent with her brother, Bran, who though awake slept most of the time, his despair getting worst with each passing day. He would try to walk to little avail, but Sansa hadn't given up hope, she would see her brother walk again one way or another. Bran began to look forward to the promises of sightseeing with Sansa that she had promised him, as soon as he could walk and ride. But he did not let hope take over reality, despite Sansa's constant pestering to believe and pray.

"When is Jon coming home?" Bran asked as he grasped at Sansa's arm, trying to not fall as he applied pressure to his weak and feeble legs.

"I don't know," Sansa tried to keep her voice normal and calm. She grabbed his arm supporting him as she helped him walk along, Arya had spooked them as her excitement boiled over.

"Arya," Bran complained as he nearly fell over.

"I have a gift for you!" Arya jumped up and down as a tall dark haired boy came walking down the way, "this is my friend, I met him while I was on my own in Kingslanding. Father actually met him already, his name is Gendry."

"Pleasure," Sansa said as curtsy as she could through her confusion.

"Tis all mine," the boy said smiling at her.

"He's Robert's Bastard," Arya shrugged as if it meant nothing.

"Arya!" Sansa shrilled in embarrassment at her sister's lack of common curtesy.

"No, Milady, it is fine," Gendry looked at Arya shaking his head but smiling at her.

"Well get on with it," Sansa urged looking at Arya.

"Gendry, show them," Arya could not contain her smile, "Gendry found his way here after I told him about Winterfell and how he would be most welcome. He is a master craftsman, and after telling him about Bran… well…"

"I made this device here to help Bran be able to walk on his own, even ride eventually, it could possibly help him regain mobility in the future without the need of the brace," Gendry put his hands behind his back as he told them about this project. Arya pulled it and without asking Bran, she started strapping him into the gadget.

"This is amazing," Sansa couldn't hold back a smile as she looked at Bran who didn't seem to share her enthusiasm. He had begun to lose hope anything would work.

"I could try it," Bran shrugged before Gendry began to attach him to the device.

"How do you feel?" Arya asked as she looked over at Gendry, a spark in her eye Sansa hadn't seen before… except in Jon's eyes.

"Are you asking me or him?" Bran asked confused before Arya looked back at him pointing at his chest.

"You, idiot," Arya rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"I don't know how I feel," Bran said as he took Sansa's arm, her long green sleeves hanging low. He balanced himself, wobbling before finally letting go, taking a few steps before stumbling, Sansa quickly at his side catching him, "I got this…"

"Of course," Sansa said softly before backing away. Bran took another step, a smile creeping on his face as he began to feel like he was almost normal again. It hurt to walk, it hurt bad, but he had control again. Sansa smiled as she and Arya clapped for their little brother. Sansa took Bran into a hug before mouthing a thank you to Gendry. She insisted they return to the castle to show everyone.

Catelyn cried when she saw Bran walk in on his own, Sansa behind him, and Arya with her friend not far behind them. Ned smiled and clasped his son on the shoulder. Robb took Bran into a hug as well. There were tears and many gratitude's exchange to Gendry. Sansa couldn't help but think of Jon, even then.

"Where is Jon?" she asked interrupting the celebrating between the family.

"We haven't heard anything from him in weeks, last we heard he was going to ride out to the wildlings. He promised a couple weeks but it's turned into something much longer. We sent a scout to get him but he never returned either," Robb said looking at his sister with a weak smile, she nodded her appreciation before looking towards the fire. It was then she decided to do something stupid. She snuck off to her room to pack, but was surprised to see her younger brother, sister and Gendry at her door with packs.

"What are you doing?" she asked confused.

"You are not going after Jon alone," Arya said firmly.

"You're not coming," Sansa said equally as firmly as she shoved some more linens into her bag.

"Like hell we arent!" Arya slammed the door shut behind her making both Sansa and Bran jump.

"You are not the only one worried about him," Bran said softly.

"You just got over an injury, Bran, you are barely able to walk," Sansa placed her hands on her shoulder, "this is something best done on my own."

"You are not safe out there, Sansa," Gendry said softly, "you are more a target then anyone of us. Cersei would love to get her hands on you the most. Lannister armies are surrounding Winterfell."

"He is our family too, so we are going, end of story," Arya crossed her arms, her short brown hair whisking around her face as she turned her nose into the air.

"Said like a lady," Gendry joked making Arya's eyes go wide at him, "milady…"

"I'm not a lady!" Arya hissed hitting him in the arm.

"Enough, Arya," Sansa said clearly annoyed with her sister, "don't you ever do as your told?"

"No. Not really," Arya shook her head making Gendry laugh, this earned him an evil eye from Arya.

"I spose you never did," Sansa scoffed under her breath, "what about you Bran? How will you ride?"

"I've taken care of that, I have fashioned a seat that will hold him in place no matter what happens. He simply needs help mounting and dismounting for now until I figure out a work around for it," Gendry crossed his strong arms imitating Arya's cocky demeaner. Arya rolled her eyes but couldn't help but notice the way his muscles rippled when he did it.

"Damnit," Sansa sat on her bed defeated, "meet me in the stables within the end of this hour."

"We will go wait now, incase you think of leaving us behind," Bran said wisely. He knew his sisters well, especially Sansa.

"Of course," she faked a smile before laying back into her bed, her hands covering her face.

* * *

Sansa and her group were riding away from Winterfell, a note on each of their pillow left behind to inform those who cared what happened to them. They were surprised to hear another horse coming up behind them. When the rider was finally in eye sight they recognized the rider as Theon Greyjoy.

"Theon? What are you doing here?" Arya asked a little more rudely then intended.

"I was sent by Lord Robb Stark, he knew what you planned by the look in your eyes Sansa. He regrets not being able to aid you in this dangerous journey, but has sent me in his stead to see you safely returned home," Theon pulled back on his brown gelding to keep the horse as still as possible. It was cold and even though bundled you could see their breath on the wind like smoke.

"I see," Sansa said looked to Arya and Bran then back at their father's ward, "we appreciate your company and assistance Theon, thank you."

"My pleasure milady," Theon had always tried being more curtly with the girls then he was with Robb or Jon who he could be more of an open idiot around joking and always crude. The road was cold and long, they had spent many days riding through the forests avoiding the main roads as they traveled towards castle black. For the first half was uneventful, stopping for camp to light a fire for warmth and food, as well as some rest. It wasn't until a little after their first half of the journey that trouble found them. Not only trouble, but the worst kind of trouble.

Sansa was the first to hear the crack, hope filling her body it was either Gendry, Arya or Bran returning from catching fire. It was a few minutes of creaking sounds before Sansa shook Theon awake from his nap, startling him. She shhhh'd him before grabbing her bow and arrow from her pack, keeping it low so no one could see. It happened quickly, suddenly, she was as swift as she could be taking down 4 men before several of them grabbed her. Theon had been fighting them off but they outnumbered him.

"Pack them up, let's take them back," one of the soldiers said shoving Theon and Sansa along. Sansa peaked over her shoulder, seeing Arya and Gendry hiding not too far away, she hoped and prayed Bran was with them.

Sansa was tossed to the floor, scraping her hands and knees on the carpet of the tent they had entered. It was dimly lit, it was warm and smelled of luxury. Sansa looked up in the dark to see a man walk out, a wicked smile on his face. He was not unattractive, but in his eyes, he was evil. Sansa couldn't help but recognize the sigil on one of his banners.

"I know that sign, you're a northerner, loyal to house Stark are you not?" Sansa asked trembling at the banner with the flayed man.

"Oh, no… not anymore," he said with a whimsical smile as he bent down to her level, as she was still down on her knees.

"Why?" Sansa asked feeling her body begin to tremble.

"Take him to the other tent, ladies shouldn't be present for this," his nose crinkled in delight as he was close to her, nose to nose.

"Don't tell them who you are," Theon said as he took a fist to the face still trying to fight the guards off as they tried to drag him from the tent.

"Curious, now I am curious to whom you must be. A northerner by the clothes, a lady by the cleanliness and luxury of your riding gear, and from the sigil on your gown… a wolf. Stark, we must have a lady from House Stark, my this is a pleasure," Ramsay mused as he stroked her red hair. He smelled her hair as he leaned forward, his mouth next to her ear, "I've never been with a lady…"

"Nor will you," Sansa spewed angrily, but realized her attitude was less likely to get her let go.

"A woman with a fire in her, I like it," he smirked wickedly as he paced around.

"Please, let us go turned her head from him squeezing her eyes shut to hold back the tears.

"But the fun has barely begun," he said grabbing her face roughly with one hand and kissing her cheek as if to torment her. She struggled to pull away as he laughed and stood up. He grabbed her by the hair and dragged her, kicking and fighting, to the bed where he chained her to the bed so she couldn't escape.

"No!" she screamed as he walked out laughing. She tried to run but fell as the force of the chain brought her down. She lay on the ground crying as she began to hear what was happening in the next tent. Theon's screams haunted her, and all she could wonder was if Arya was safe from this lunatic, if Bran and her were far from this camp of evil.

More screams. She couldn't take it, covering her ears as the torture consumed poor Theon. She now regretted her thoughtless decision to leave, landing them in this mess. Sansa curled into a ball as she cried hoping Theon's suffering and screams would end, even hoping for a moment he would meet death… and end his pain. Sansa was woken from the sound of heavy footsteps and the flap of the tent open and close as Ramsay walked in, only wearing britches, blood covering his chest and face… he seemed to wear it with pride, like it fed something only blood could quench. This thought frightened her the most.

"Please," she begged as she began to scoot backwards away from him, but he did not stop.

"You have answers, and I need some," he smiled wickedly close to her. Anytime she met him with an answer he didn't like, or she refused to answer at all she would feel the end of his fist or his boot. Sansa froze as he grabbed her and slammed her down, he was quickly on top of her, his hands taking privileges that weren't his. She was determined she wouldn't scream, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. But someone had interrupted at the right time, and Sansa felt like for a moment she could breathe as he climbed off of her before he could take anything from her she couldn't get back. For a sick and ashamed moment she found herself grateful he seemed already exhausted from visiting with Theon, or her time with him so far would have been much worst. She hated this feeling of true fear, something she thought she had felt at the hands of Cersei or Joffrey but they had not been quite as physically cruel as the Bolton's bastard.

"We aren't finished milady, I'll be back soon, my pet," he smiled wickedly as her cupped her face, her eyes tightly closed as she tried to pull away.

She felt like a dove whose wings had been clipped, unable to fly away and escape this. Not physically or emotionally or mentally.

"Sansa," a voice broke through the haze of her nightmare, cold hands clasping at her bare arm, Sansa could hear Arya crying as she tried to pull Sansa to her feet, "I'm so sorry. Im sorry, I'm sorry."

"Ar…ya?" Sansa whimpered softly unable to full make out her face for they were still burning of fresh tears, but the sound of her voice in all her apologies was the sweetest sound.

"Please, Sansa, you have to get up I can't carry you and Gendry is getting Theon," Arya said pulling at her sister. Sansa tried with all her strength, slowly getting to her feet, unsure if this was real or a dream, "just a few steps, your horse is outside."

"I don't know if I can," Sansa wrapped her arm over Arya's neck and tried to balance herself with the other hand. She could now feel the sting in her ribs were his heavy boot would make contact when she would sass him and anger him. Arya wrapped her sister in a cloak before leading her outside into the brisk cold, helping Sansa onto her horse. Sansa whimpered silently as possible trying to steady herself as Arya climbed behind Sansa, watching Theon being walked out by Gendry. When they were far enough away from the camp they slowed down to regroup.

"Theon, can you ride on your own?" Arya asked.

"Aye, I think so," Theon looked almost as delusional and lost as Sansa. They looked at one another, understanding each other in a way no one could. Both could see the sorry in the other's eyes.

"You need to inform father that the Bolton's have switched sides," Arya said looking at him firmly, "tell them what happened here."

"Aye, I'll do that," Theon nodded holding his ribs. He looked much worst then Sansa, he had used much other awful methods on poor Theon, many deep cuts and wounds, his face nearly unrecognizable.

"Don't stop for anything, not sleep not food nothing, it will be hard but you know that maniac will be after you," Gendry looked at Theon with seriousness.

"Trust me I won't give him the chance of taking me again," Theon looked so defeated, he looked like he was lifeless. He would not stop until he reached the safety of Winterfell, "take care of Sansa…"

"We will," Arya said, her sister sleeping in front of her wrapped in a cloak. Theon nodded before turning his horse to ride back to Winterfell. The rest of the group took off to finish their journey.

* * *

Finally, the gates of Castle Black were in view as the group rode hard entering the large keep.

"Who are you?" Edd one of the brothers asked.

"I'm Arya Stark of Winterfell, we are here for Jon Snow," Arya said jumping from behind Sansa onto the ground. Gendry was helping Bran from his horse while Arya took over command.

"Commander Stark just returned," he said as the gates closed behind them. Sansa opened eyes weakly to finally see Jon appear from nowhere looking at her from the balcony. Arya helped Sansa to the grown, holding her up.

Jon had run down the stairs scooping Sansa up into his arms, Sansa's arms wrapping around his neck weakly, but he was all the strength she needed in his strong arms. Arya quickly fixed Sansa's covering as she had become slightly bare, some of her clothes had been ripped and slightly too revealing especially for the cold conditions. Jon looked down at Sansa, seeing only a few of the marks on her body, the bruising on her cheek and her swollen cut lip. He looked at Arya pain and anger and questions in his eyes, "it's a lot to explain right now Jon, she needs help…"

"Jon," Sansa whispered softly, as if he were but a sweet dream, and for a moment she couldn't feel any of the pain on her body.

"Medic!" Jon yelled after nodding at Arya, he quickly lifted her into his arms carrying her quickly to where a nurse was already prepping a room. The nurse a older man kept trying to push Jon out of the way as he moved around Sansa, pulling her cover off revealing the marks and bruises that were growing darker against her pale soft skin.

"You should leave while I do this, I may have to set a bone and there will be a lot of pain," he said looking at the lord commander, "Atleast take a walk."

"Why did you stay away?" Arya asked, she had met with Jon, explaining to him how they ran into trouble and about the Bolton's boy. Jon paced, hitting the wall, feeling guilt for having left.

"I don't know, all I know is I started having reservations about being a King, I feel at home here, there is so much going on," Jon was pinching his nose between his eye brows in thought.

"So you abandoned her, you abandoned us…" Arya asked in anger.

"I planned to go to back," Jon paced, "I just have to deal with the danger here. I finally united the wildlings and us, I have made real accomplishments here."

"You just left us Jon! Do you know how hard it was to watch her moping around, miserable, praying all day at the damn gods wood for your safe return," Arya was angry with Jon, "you don't deserve her, and you don't deserve a crown Jon. Your not who I thought you were."

"Arya!" he hollered back at his cousin, but she had already stormed off. Jon quickly returned to the medic, hearing her screams from down the hall he took off in a run. The man was trying to stitch up some deep wounds that seemed to deeper then originally thought, causing Sansa to move and cry out in pain.

"Please stop!" she cried begging over, and over. Jon was quick to her side, on his knees so he was eye to eye with her.

"I'm so sorry," he said but she just bit her lip and looked away.

"This poor girl, she has been through quite a lot it would appear, I can mend her wounds, but there is no cure for her spirit for a fragile girl as such to experience such brutality," he said as he finished the last few stitches. Sansa sobbed to her self quietly, her breaths getting shallow before she drifted off, "this is all I will do for now, what she needs is rest. We can begin the healing in the morning."

"Aye," Jon nodded as the man washed his hands clearing it of blood before walking away. Jon watched Sansa sleep, her porcelain white skin colored with blues, greens, and purples. Blood matted some of her hair, and began to stain the white sheet in other spots. Jon laid his head beside her, remembering her in a different time. One where she was happy, untouched by the evil in the word. He would kill this Ramsay Bolton, if it was the only thing… the last thing he did.

Authors note: I tried to get this chapter done as fast as possible. Although I have switched it up so she isn't raped just knocked around quite a bit, It was still a bit dramatic but unfortunately history sort of repeats its self. My goal is to still meet most of the events in the series, but at a different perspective and different out comes as history has been changed. Some things will still happen that happened in the other time, but it will be changed and different. Anyways, I promise more happy lighter ones in the future. Before anyone tries saying that it was too much and that its not something that should be mentioned. Soon There will soon be some Danny and Robb stuff.


	11. Chapter 11: Dragons and Wolves

Authors note: I am glad last chapters revise made a few people feel better, I know I did. I still needed something bad to happen, but I feel like it didn't need to be so brutal. She could use a break that's for sure. Anyways, thank you everyone. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE. =] This is going to be a short chapter...

Chapter 11: Dragons and Wolves

Sansa's eyes fluttered to the bright sun that shown through the windows of her room. She tried to sit up, but pain seared through her body as the realization of what had happened came to her. It hadn't been a bad dream at all, and now she had to live with it. She began to hate herself for the dark thoughts she had had about Theon, the self preservation that took hold of her. She looked over to see Arya fast asleep in a chair beside her. Sansa reached out to touch Arya's shoulder, waking her up. Arya jumped before shaking herself back to reality, _like a wolf she is,_ Sansa thought with a smile.

"You're awake," Arya said relieved, "you've been asleep for days."

"For days?" Sansa was surprised by this, and tried to once more sit up. Arya gripped her sisters elbow to help her steady herself, "where are we?"

"We are at Castle Black," Arya said steadying her sister until she could sit alone. Sansa's hand fell to her stomach where she took a lot of damage, large bruising stung to the touch where Ramsay's boots had left their imprint.

"Can you help me up," Sansa asked looking to her sister, Arya nodded grasping her hand and under her arm pit. Sansa stumbled a little but her little sister caught her bravely. Sansa found herself in front of a mirror, she was dressed in a black robe that was much to large for her and clearly fit for a man, her hair was pulled back into a ponytail with only a few strands falling loose in her face. Sansa's hand lifted to touch the bruises on her face, the deep cut that had tore at her lip. Sansa felt a few spots on her side that to be sewed up, which reminded her of when Ramsay had kicked her so hard she fell into the edge of a broken board that had cut her deeply in several spots tearing her dress. Sansa couldn't stop looking at herself, a void in her eyes as she observed herself, "I look monstrous."

"You do not," Arya said quickly, "you will heal."

"I don't think I will," Sansa turned to look at her little sister. A man had walked in catching them off guard.

"You are awake, great," the man said with an awkward laugh, he was short and quite large with a jolly face, "Jon wanted me to check on you."

"He couldn't check on me himself?" Sansa asked with annoyance.

"We should never have come," Arya said taking Sansa's hand in her own, showing a loving affection she rarely shown.

"The Lord Commander is much busy," the man said walking towards them, "I'm Sam. You must be Sansa and Arya, he speaks often of you."

"Does he now?" Arya said venomously. She was clearly not believing this by the way Jon had abandoned him.

"We should go," Sansa said looking to Arya.

"I cant let you leave," Sam said putting his hands up.

"You don't want to push me fat man," Arya said stepping up to him, Sam quickly stepped back.

"I'll be back," Sam huffed nervously as he turn to go fetch Jon.

Sansa and Arya had already packed the few things they had when they called for Gendry. Jon was quick to enter the room, his eyes wide when he saw her. Sansa stopped what she was doing, forgetting for a moment she was angry with him, but then it returned and she looked away handing her bag to Gendry.

"You aren't to leave," Jon said firmly as he stepped into the room.

"You abandoned us," Sansa said with angry hooded eyes, he could see more clearly the bruises and marks that scared her once pale skin.

"I did not," Jon walked hastily towards her.

"You did," Arya agreed.

"We thought you were in trouble and came to aid you, but I see that isn't so," Sansa said angrily.

"Can you please give us a moment," Jon said to Arya and Gendry.

"Not if..." Arya tried to argue but was cut off.

"I am the Lord Commander here, you can wait outside," Jon growled. Arya didn't think she could ever be angry with Jon, but she was livid. Gendry grabbed Arya's hand.

"Come," Gendry said gently, "we will be only a moment."

"Fine," Arya muttered under her breath as she walked out with Gendry.

"Sansa," Jon said walking towards her.

"I don't want to hear it, Jon," Sansa backed away from him, "you aren't the man I thought you were..."

"I needed to find myself, I needed a little time," Jon said hastily as he tried to grab her hand.

"No, do not touch me," Sansa hissed, "you may be Lord Commander of this castle, but I am Sansa Stark of Winterfell, you don't own me, you don't control me, and you cant tell me what to do."

"Sansa, please listen to reason," Jon couldn't hold back the pain in his eyes, "you cannot leave. Ramsay is still out there, and I will find and destroy him if its the last thing I do."

"I can handle myself," Sansa turned to look away, afraid she would break and give in.

"I know you can, love, but..."

"Do not call me that, don't you dare speak of love," Sansa growled, the inner wolf fueling her fire.

"Ramsay may be a beast and evil," Sansa turned to look at him once more, "but you are a coward, Jon."

"I am sorry," Jon said softly, "please let me make it up to you."

"I want to get home, I have a marriage to plan," Sansa used it like fire to burn Jon, and it clearly worked. For a moment he thought he would stop breathing.

"You plan to still wed that fancy prick?" Jon's voice was full of his own fire.

"Indeed," Sansa crossed her arms.

"Very well, let me not keep you waiting," Jon said angrily storming towards the door, "I'll prepare a group to return you to your true love."

Sansa did not say another word as Jon had stormed out. Once gone she let out the breath she had been holding, sobs began to take control. Arya and Gendry returned to the room to help Sansa. Sansa found herself regretting the things she had said... so badly she wanted him to hold her in his arms. But it was hard for her to forgive him for leaving.

Winterfell was sent into a multi-panic as Theon had arrived with the news of the Boltons betrayal, as well news that Ramsay had killed his own father and little brother. What had them the most in a panic was Dragons had been spotted not far from them, heading towards Winterfell. It wasn't long before one had landed with a woman with long silver hair and purple eyes landed. Robb, Theon, Nedd, and Catelyn were the first to walk out and greet the stranger. She slid off, wearing strange leather clothing that had told them she traveled from the dessert lands. When Robb's eyes met hers something seemed to spark, and from that moment Robb knew he was lost to her. She took a few steps before them, her dragon screeching in warning that if they harmed her there would be punishment. Robb was the first to step forward as if she was pulling him to her, and before he knew it he had been on one knee before her.

"Milady," he said bowing his head. Daenerys swallowed nervously, having not planned on feeling what she felt, not after the loss of her husband.

"Please, stand," she said softly. Robb rose and his eyes met hers once more, "I've come for my nephew."


End file.
